A writer friend and I have been engaged in some ongoing dialogue about how Christians make sense of the Bible. Why do we defend it as though we’re defending Jesus himself? Why do we avoid the uncomfortable issues it presents? What is my relationship to the Bible, and what does that have to do with my relationship with God?

It is, after all, God’s book, so at times I work up some courage and do the unthinkable: I ask Him about it. The conversation generally goes something like this:

Me: God, I'm so sorry I haven't been reading your Word as I should. I'm a terrible believer. I should be more self-disciplined.
God: That's not the point. I wish you could see that.
Me: Yes, BUT if Paul could do it, if Mother Teresa could do it, if so-and-so could do it then surely I don't have any reason not to. (As if God is interested in this puny rhetorical strategy.)
God: Come. Sit. Be still.
Me: But... (squirming...getting more excuses ready)
God: I have things to show you. Lessons to teach you. Will you read?
Me: Certainly I'll be more ready when I've got the latest commentary on the book of ____________. I'm not a theologian, not a Biblical scholar. All of this is Hebrew and Greek to me. I have no credentials to bring to the game. I might misunderstand. I might misquote. I might...
God: Stop. That isn't what I asked. I AM enough. Come. Read. See.

There is a bit of wisdom that says we (humanity) fight not because we are brave but because we are scared. If this is true, then why should it not be more true (can truth be measured in degrees?) when we come to sit, open, exposed in front of Scripture. So often I find myself fighting with what I find there. Somehow it's just so much easier to grow defensive in reading the "Woe unto you's" than it is to repose in the sweeping mercies of the "Blessed are's". I know I'm not alone. An odd comfort that is. When I enter a conversation with God in the pages of Scripture, it's so easy to go looking for the scolding, the guilt, the shame—the fight. When it comes to the Bible, why must my default setting with God be defensiveness?

Because. I'm scared.

Scared that my tenuous and limited understanding of the world might all come apart in these pages, I talk myself out of the task. Why must I be challenged? I like my ideas for the same reason I like my old tennis shoes. They're worthless in a storm, but I've broken them in! They've softened to my form. Comfort. Security. Familiarity. Who wants to part with those?

Funny how Grace finds it's way through the cracks in my proud resistance. When Light shines across my shadows, I settle down. Surrendering to the Bible isn’t comfortable, but echoing in my heart are ancient words memorized in my childhood, "Greater is He". Compelled, I crack the cover. With what is sometimes painful persistency, I place myself in the pages I turn. Boldly, I blurt out an anxious and honest prayer that I'll understand what He has for me there. And then it hits me.

The breath of the great I AM moves in these words. Genesis begins with the Spirit hovering over the waters. Creation was about to commence. John's gospel shows us the Spirit hovered over the waters that miraculously became the wine. Why now, today, do I turn to the Bible? Because in it, His Spirit hovers over the waters of my soul. In the truth of His Word (John 17:17) His Spirit transforms me. This is why I keep reading.

His "word", the Psalmist writes, "is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (119:105). God lit the lamp. He holds it, and shines it on my path. In the walking, I must choose to step into the pool of light or remain shivering in the shadows. What I find in Scripture is that God never claimed that "the Bible" is our redemption. The Bible doesn’t save us, but it points to the One who does. Jesus says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:9). So I come in weakness.

Do I need credentials as I approach the Holy Word of God? No, I need an open heart. Must I be familiar with every nuance of both the Hebrew and Greek languages? No, I need to listen to the truth of who He is as He makes himself known through Scripture. I come with my weakness because I believe in the One who gives me life, and gives it abundantly through Jesus. And, because I believe that He is revealed in the beautiful, breaking, building, breathing pages of the Bible. Even still, Father, Son, and Spirit are bigger than Scripture.

Are there easy answers to our questions about the Bible? No. The Bible is far too complicated for trite and tidy answers. So, the fight about the Bible continues. Let the agnostic rationalize. Let her point out the flaws. Let her tell me the words I value above all others were written by flawed humans, thus the Bible must also be flawed. Remember, we fight because we’re scared. Are all my fears assuaged? No, but I will keep reading. I am in those pages she discredits, and so is she. We are both part of the great story of redemption and restoration recorded there—one that transcends her humanity, just as it does mine.