Yes, I know the correct term is between the altar and the door, but,
for me, it is a bit different. I am a member of two different worship
teams. I seem to be on stage more than I am at the altar. I have the
responsibility of leading others into the presence of a Holy God.
Frankly, that scares me some times.
In
the Old Testament, the presence of God was represented by the Ark of
the Covenant. The Ark resided in the temple, in a place call the Holy
of Holys. The Ark is where the presence of God would come
and sit. This is the place where each year a priest would come to make
a sacrifice.
This was not a simple task for the priest. Rather,
the priest would have to go through quite a few purification rituals
before he could enter this holy place. If he failed to do these rituals
properly and approached the mercy seat with any impurity, the presence
of God would kill him.
Scary stuff.
Today, we as believers are called to a holy priesthood. We are the ones who carry the presence of God into the world. Not just the ones on the stage, but all of us who strive to lead that life of worship.
Now you see why this sometimes scares me?
We who
lead and serve on worship teams sometimes forget what we are really
doing. We are not playing songs to feel good or perform for others. And those of us who come to church every Sunday, we do not come just to help attentance or sing a few songs. We
are literally asking a Holy God to come meet us and let his presence
overcome us, to overtake our lives. This is not a task we
can take lightly.
God help me, but at times, I find arrogance
can step in and I start to feel puffed up. I feel like I am something
special because I play music. I feel like I could be a rock star. I
thank God though that he is changing this in me.
I am learning
everything must flow from a place of reverence and worship to God. My
music is not my music. It is God's. It is my sacrifice to him.
So,
each time I get on that stage, I need to realize that I am not the one
who needs to be seen. Rather, I am coming before an altar. An altar
where I lay down my very life.
Comments
Hi Daddy poet,
I can relate to your post. I think it is the same for a teacher or pastor--anyone in ministry for that matter. Sometimes I catch myself before teaching, praying something like, "let my words reach their heart-yada, yada.. and then the Holy Spirit, speaks, "who's words?
Putting our flesh first is so natural, we forget at times that it is not about us, it is about what God is doing through us. We are just vessels--or as in my case, just a cracked pot that leaks and needs constant refilling.
Being aware of this, is the key to a geniune heart before the Lord and that is all that is required. It's good to be aware and adjust when necessary, but don't beat yourself up for being human.
I do have a story that you might relate to: One of they guys on the worship team years ago, was gifted in that he could sing, write music, play the guitar, piano, and drums--but his favorite was the drums. And we all knew it. Because when it was his turn on the drums, you could see him transform into a "performer" and not a leader.
Fortunately, our pastor was obedient to the Holy Spirit, and pulled him off drums. He pointed out that there is a time to perform and a time to worship. This guy was blessed by the pastor's gracious handling of this situation, (we would have never known, except that he shared it with us one morning during worship.) He grew from that experience, and eventually returned to the drums. All this to say, a good indicator for performance vs leading is that the eyes of the congregation are on you and their lips are no longer moving.
Anyway, sorry for the usual rant :-)
Keep on keepin' on! Your geniune heart is an act of worship.
Teresa