Note: This blog post originally appeared at Inked Well.

Some friends and I have been discussing this Newsweek article for almost a week on Facebook and in our blog circles. The article discussed how (and if) children are adequately taught about race in schools and homes across America. The statistic that really got to me was this one:

"What parents say depends heavily on their own race: a 2007 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that out of 17,000 families with kindergartners, nonwhite parents are about three times more likely to discuss race than white parents; 75 percent of the latter never, or almost never, talk about race."

I’ll speak from the 75% demographic for a minute. As a member of this majority, I am very troubled by the silence of my comrades. I understand the awkwardness of talking about race as a white person. In doing so, I run the risk that my clumsiness may burn the bridges of political correctness I have spent a long time building in an earnest attempt to avoid the cruelty and indignity that is my racial inheritance. But though I take a risk in doing so, I still must speak about the dynamics of race—particularly to my kids.

The worst part about not talking about it is that kids will learn about race entirely by osmosis. The culture-at-large will be the one to teach our children what to think about race. Their understanding will be entirely shaped by the circumstances they encounter in school, in places of worship, or in the marketplace. And if you've never consciously experienced that, I can tell you firsthand that our culture is a lousy educator.

Our children will learn exactly what most of these kids were taught: that you can be amongst people different from you without really being a part of those folks’ lives. You can still stay with “your own.” It’s not enough to integrate the schools, we have to integrate our communities, our own homes, and our hearts to embrace people who don’t look or talk like us.

It is a challenge as a parent to do these things, particularly when it creates discomfort because we, ourselves, are caught up in the segregation of the culture. Many of the kids in the article were part of multiracial school environments, yet as the article says,

"[Duke University's James] Moody found that the more diverse the school, the more the kids self-segregate by race and ethnicity within the school, and thus the likelihood that any two kids of different races have a friendship goes down."

The authors go on to add:

"I can't help but wonder—would the track record of desegregation be so mixed if parents reinforced it, rather than remaining silent? It is tempting to believe that because their generation is so diverse, today's children grow up knowing how to get along with people of every race. But numerous studies suggest that this is more of a fantasy than a fact."

As white people, our family intentionally moved into a neighborhood and have found a church where the families are from many nations and ethnic backgrounds. We have made efforts to incorporate books, music, and movies that show a broader spectrum of humanity than what our kids wake up to every morning. And still, we have yet to really bring those influences home in the form of ongoing intimate relationships with people of color.

We hope to change that over time, but in the meantime, we want to deal with the questions and the confusion that will come honestly, confessing our inability to resolve every issue and confronting our own prejudices as we go along. I think that’s the best we can hope to do, but it’s something we often feel alone about over here in Camp 75%.