There are times I find myself struggling with accepting and knowing I am forgiven. I know the Word says he has cast my sins from me as far as the east is from the west, but guilt over what I have done in the past still shows up like a ghost or a flu that I can not shake. I feel worthless and ashamed. Then it hits me. I am using my guilt as an excuse. I mean, if I don't let go of guilt, I can use it when God moves my heart. I can say, "but God, I am still not good enough. Find someone more capable." I go through all the excuses Moses used when God told him to go to Pharaoh. I use the excuse of "I am just a normal guy" or "They will think I am a fraud because I have messed up before."

In these moments, I realize I need to embrace an Isaiah experience. Standing before God, I admit I come from an unclean people. I scream out, "Have mercy on me God, I am undone!" Then I watch as the blood pours and feel the coal burn my lips, heart and down to my very being. I hear the voice of Jesus say to me what he said to Peter so long ago. "Do no call unclean what I have made clean."

I am beginning to realize that when I hold on to my guilt, I am calling Jesus a liar and saying that the cross was worthless to me.

This is an intense revelation that I am having to let sink in slowly. In fact, like any deep revelation or realization that God gives, it is like a fine Irish Whiskey or a fine aged wine. It can not be watered down with ice or soda. It must taken straight. You have have to sip at it and let it sink in slowly. And, like fine whiskey or wine, the warming glow of inebriation and truth washes over me. The truth is intoxicating.
I love it.