The following is a series of lessons I learned from a year of volunteering as a nurse on a homeless hospital. It was the most difficult, beautiful, growing, and joyful year of my short life.
1. I pity the homeless less than I used to. I don't mean this cynically. I started this year pitying the homeless because I did not realize how cyclical and complicated homelessness really is. I recall feeling a lot of "woe to them" and their life circumstances. It's not that I don't feel poorly about their situations anymore, it's just that I have gained a clearer image of how people become homeless, and more significantly, why many people stay homeless. Instead of feeling so much sorrow, I feel more responsibility for making their world better. Part of that responsibility is encouraging the patients to own their lives and their life choices. The other part is for me to continue to humble myself and learn from the patients' years of experience. It is a daily balancing act.
2. I have learned more about being an RN this year than I thought I would. At my previous job on a surgical floor, patients had tubes coming out of every orifice and were known to, no pun intended, go down the tubes pretty quickly. The acuity was high for being a non-ICU unit, and I remember thinking that nursing does not get any more "real" than this. I struggled to consider my role as an nurse at CH as being as "important" because the patients are not as acutely ill. My eyes have been opened. Sure, patients at CH are unlikely to bleed out or go septic on my shift, but they suffer from chronic diseases that I formerly did not consider compatible with life. Work is a daily lesson in human resilience.
3. Living "in community" is cooler than I thought it would be. (I lived in a large group house with other volunteers.) I was drawn to this particular program because it provided housing in the over-priced DC metro area. I was excited to get to know my roommates and live in a Real World house, but I wasn't necessarily looking for life friends. However, my Housies have taught me trust, patience, and openness in a deeper way than I have experienced before. They are my urban family, and I am so thankful for them.
4. Money is just money. I like nice things, and thanks to the generosity of my family and friends, I have by no means suffered a year of poverty. Yet a dollar feels like a lot more than it used to. I no longer long for Aveda shampoo, fancy yogurt, or dinner out--things that were formally indispensable in my life. I am learning what is a want and what is a need, and I am thankful for this newer-found value of a dollar.
5. Life goes on. As I look to the future, I don't know where I will be living, what I will be doing, who will surround me, or anything else for that matter. Nothing is certain in life, and I even dare say that just when you think something will not change, it does. I used to get so stressed about planning my future, but I see clearly now that I have very little control over anything but the present moment. I am learning to relish in that joy which can only be found when I stop focusing on destinations and instead hone in on the journey.
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