A friend called the other day to update me on her marriage.   The 20+years have taken their toll and she and her husband have decided it’s time to separate.  She’d hate and love to all out quit, and just get a divorce, this hesitancy to make anything final is simply her longing for redemption to come into her marriage.

       In the year I’ve known her I have heard her weep over her husband and what they have lost.  She is mourning.  And sadly these emotions are not the only ones tangled around her ankles pulling her down.  Shame has reached out as well. 

       A well meaning but distant friend had expressed to her a need, which was finding a new place to live.  When her unbelieving husband left it seemed natural to invite the friend to move in to share the costs and help fight the loneliness.  What she received back was a reminder that God hates divorce, and the loss of a friendship.

Matthew 1 is the lineage of Christ, which includes prostitutes and women of questionable character.  It ends with Mary, a virgin who conceived by the Holy Spirit’s overshadowing and is pregnant without a husband.  That would be bad today, but as a Jewish women back then, it would be horrible. 

Shame…I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how being chosen and shamed have gone hand in hand for these women.  We know their background, but we don’t always know each other’s.  We don’t know what it is really like to live someone else’s life, and I guess we don’t know that about these women either…what would it have felt like to have your mother look at you with hurt accusation in her eyes and your only response be “I’ve been chosen.”? 

What does this tell me about the God I long to know?  What does He know about shame that I haven’t figured out yet? 

  I am convinced that God desires us to be free. And being free means not seeking the approval of others but letting God’s favor be enough.  

I guess that means not running around trying to clear my name or making sure that everyone understands my motives. It also means being able to be kind despite what is whispered about me behind closed doors.   Being willing to be shamed and counting on God to be the God who sees me.  Counting on God to be the God who hears me, and letting that be what drives me to do what I do.