Last Saturday my hubby had been officially married
for 15,811,200 seconds which amounts to the equivalent of 263,520
minutes or 4392 hours or 183 days or 26 weeks or more simply 6 months.
(Yes I am that petty, lol). We are half way through the momentous 1
year and I am glad to say that my wedding ring has not been flung out
the window of our speedy Citroen C1. Don't get me wrong, we have had
some tense moments and have had to deal with circumstances that have
altered our lives in the last 26 weeks BUT we are still going strong.
Recently,
we have been entertained by other married couples who made what we had
dealt with look like a slow motion stroll through Victoria Park.
Sometimes in life, our emotions manage to create the wonderful illusion
that we are the only one suffering. We send out invitations for our
extravagant pity party and punish all those who don't attend. My hubby
and I were really humbled when we heard their stories and admired their
strength. I greatly admired the wives as I could not even try to
understand how they had managed to keep their cool. How had they
resisted sending out electronic pity party invitations? I was truly in
awe. They demonstrated the kind of strength that I had only seen in
wives of old.
In the class of wives, I feel that my mother's
generation are at the top the game. They were and still are able to
deal with the most difficult situations. Their emotions had structures
of steel that refused to bend or break to the winds of life. They have
spines made of titanium that refused to be corroded by the acidity of
life. Wives of old absorbed every single pain and were literally the
rock of their families. It somehow didn't seem to matter if their
husbands had begun extracurricular activities with their secretary;
they continued to hold the home together. They didn't seem to throw
tantrums over matters like who should switch off the light or who was
the last one to load the washing machine. Through adultery, domestic
violence, money and poverty, these wives remained like Rosa Parks;
unmoved.
strength, old school wives were adaptable and resourceful. When their
little princes needed a new pair of shoes, their older brothers'
rejects got a lick of shoe polish and some new laces. Clarks couldn't
even compare to this level of workmanship. When the little gems needed
their hair done, old school wives become hairdressers. It didn't matter
if you had about 5 different types of extension on your head – (curly,
crimped and crisp) your highly unique hair do was complete! These wives
always did their best with what they had and worked hard to get what
they had. An old school wife didn't mind waking up at 4am to start work
at 5am, cleaning the offices of oxford schooled professionals.
Wives
of old had aspirations and dreams, far beyond their one bedroom flat.
True they may not have had the opportunity to go the university, but
they had carefully mapped out the destiny for each of their doctors, I
mean children. There was never a shift too long or a bank account too
empty that would deter them from reaching that goal. Educating their
children was of extreme importance, they may not have always understood
what simultaneous equations were but God their princess, if they didn't
score 100% in the end of year exam.
school wives created masterpieces from their tiny kitchens; they could
recreate any food on the high street or fast food restaurant. After
their child has thrown an EST (Embarrassing Supermarket Tantrum), they
would toss a few pounds of cooked oxo induced mince meat sandwiched
between slices of Kingsmill to create their version of The Big Mac.
Wives of those times provided meals for their husbands irrespective of
the arguments they had, even though they probably wanted to christen
them with the hot stew they just made. Some of us mod wives serve up a
series of finger clicks and neck bends for starters, a healthy helping
of the silent treatment for main course and for desert 'I have a
headache'. Wives of old had profound respect for their
husbands, irrespective of how low or high his position was in society,
what car he drove or his income. Their respect came with an amazing
submissive nature. I have heard of husbands that I have come home to
declare that they are moving countries, changing careers and religions.
And even in the 'unlikely' event that their husbands ideas were out of
this universe, wives of old seemed to have a manual on how to change
that mans mind. Millions of children used and abused this principle: to
get money from dad go to mum. Sometimes, when I have come
out of one of my unreasonable tantrums (for which I believe my husband
drinks kegs of patience), I compare my actions with those of the old
school wives and wonder if I will ever get there. Will I ever get to
the point where a 'you said, I meant' situation won't make me boil over
with 'if I wasn't a Christian what I do to you' anger? Truth is, only
time will tell. These women were not born as wives but as baby girls.
Time and bitterness of life have made them the old school wives they
are today. There are some that are still learning, that still refuse to
understand the basics of wifedom. We the mod wives need to make it our
responsibility to listen, look and learn. I crave the kind of titanium
spines these women had; the ability to not only find peace but also to
maintain it in the middle of chaos. I believe that this economic crisis
is crying out for women who will not be moved by the rates,
redundancies or repossessions. Sure, I have only been married for 15
million seconds (and counting) but with each second that goes by I am
working towards demonstrating the kind of strength that the old school
wives did, who is with me?
