Don’t attend a wedding with a cynic. It’ll be no fun at all.

Weddings, like rock salt on a slug, leave some people dried out on the sidewalk. For every attendee weepy and sentimental at the sight of a sacred covenant, another guest is raging against the machine—that botched up, burnt out, old school institution known as the American marriage.

Someone doesn’t become a cynic overnight. It happens in layers, year after year, as one’s life experiences begin to outnumber the perceived myths. Domestic violence, a set of affectionless parents, a personal betrayal, or one’s own moral failures can add a layer. If you combine lots of these over time—or if your own love story recently tanked—then sitting through a wedding ceremony for some people can have all the emotional poignancy of C-SPAN.