Do you ever find yourself praying away your circumstances? I do. However, when I look at my “wishes” I often find contradictory statements…  “Please let us have a bigger house so we won’t be so crowded.” Then…“If we had a smaller house it wouldn’t take me so long to clean it.” Or…“May I have a job that is more mentally challenging?” To…”I wish I had an easier job so I wouldn’t have to think so much.” and on and on it goes.

As I drove in to work this morning, my prayers were filled with petitions to God for Him to change a circumstance in my life. But my mind floundered. What would happen if He removed the circumstance? Would that solve the problem and bring me peace? Or would I be bored and complacent?

I thought about this and then Mary, the mother of Jesus, came to mind. If there was ever a woman tempted to wish away her circumstances, Mary was probably it….

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Do you ever feel God blesses everyone but you? You pray for the job promotion but it’s given to a co-worker. Your dream school sends you a letter politely telling you to go away but your best friend is immediately accepted into hers. It feels as if your dreams are on the verge of being fulfilled but are instantly yanked away, sending your emotions on a wild rollercoaster ride.

While in my twenties, I lived in Atlanta and was a dancer – a hip-hop dancer. Most people laugh when they hear this but I was a white girl who had a few moves and I dreamed of using dance as a way of reaching the inner-city youth.

I prayed, fasted and trained but I only met closed doors that were bolted shut. Every so often there were doors that were “cracked” open but never enough to lead me anywhere. I wondered why God refused to bless my dream when I was doing it for Him? Why did He tease me with the times of “almost” making it?

Unfortunately this was not a one-time thing. Many events in my life appeared as if God was about to bless me but changed His mind at the last moment – playing a cruel joke on me. However, now that I have more years behind me, I look back and I see that these times of struggle actually had purpose. 

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I’ve been helping a friend with a writing project and the other day I was going through some of his notes. I came across a cool quote he had jotted down from Richard Rohr’s book Everything Belongs and it has been running through my mind. The quote goes…

“We ask God many questions – and He does answer – but we often do not understand His answers.  We try to change our events in order to avoid changing ourselves.”

There is a lot of truth in this statement. My prayers are often filled with requests for God to deliver me from this, provide me with that or to remove a certain stressor from my life. The type of answers I’m seeking are ones that bring change in my circumstances and will return peace and comfort to my life.