It was the worst day in my life. Our daughter Anastasia was two-years-old. We were living in Germany in a townhome, three-stories high with winding, marble stairs. Anastasia, like most two-year-olds, was my shadow and followed me continually up and down the stairs.

I worked busily that morning, getting ready for an overnight guest. The drain to the shower was clogged so I used a spoon to pour with some Draino crystals directly into the pipes. A small amount of the crystals mixed with some water and stuck to the spoon.

At the hospital she was put in the pediatric intensive care ward. We were blessed that the majority of the burns were in her mouth but her saliva had carried some of the chemicals down her esophagus and the doctors needed to see the extent of the damage.

When we were babies, before we could even crawl or eat solid food, we thrived on love. Numerous research projects in the area of child development have come to the same conclusion: Babies who are held, hugged, and touched tenderly develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. The same is true of the elderly. Visit some nursing homes and you will find that the residents who receive affirming touch have a more positive spirit and generally do better than those who are not touched. Tender, affirming physical touch is a fundamental language of love.

What is true for infants and the elderly is also true for single adults of all ages. Whether we acknowledge it or not, the body is made for touching. Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. If the person’s primary love language is physical touch, your touches will speak much louder than the words “I love you” or “I hate you.” Withhold touches and you will isolate and raise doubts about your love. A tender hug communicates love to any child, but it shouts love to the child whose primary love language is physical touch. The same is true of single adults. When you listen to a friend who is feeling down and answer with a clasp of the shoulder, you declare loudly, “I love you. I care, and you are not alone.”

A touch of love may take many forms. Since touch receptors are located throughout the body, lovingly touching another individual almost anywhere can be an expression of love. Keep in mind that all touches are not created equal. Learn from the person whom you are touching what he or she perceives as a loving touch.