Chandni Chowk to China, soon to be released on DVD, is a noisy genre mash-up that doesn’t blend martial arts and slapstick so much as grate them into a lumpy soup. Akshay Kumar plays the hapless hero, a sort of Indian Jim Carrey, while Gordon Liu glares icily as a villainous kung fu master terrorizing a Chinese village. Much to the film’s detriment, Jackie Chan is nowhere to be seen. Those already attuned to that peculiar brand of Hindi cinema known as the Bollywood film may find a fart gag here or a dance number there to be a fair return on their time. Others should be far less charitable. If the broad comic shtick doesn’t frighten people away, the grotesque length of the thing—a whopping 155 minutes—almost certainly will.
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