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He slipped his way into my morning coffee, and accidentally, he said, proceeded to spill onto pages of my morning reading.  Walk.  And now work.

The non-mom-voice keeps taunting me.  He did this when I was single, too.  Idiot.

Why don't you have babies yet? You've been married over a year.
Your clock is ticking. Your womb is wasting away.

At first I tried to ignore it, but somehow that only created deeper and more persistent taunts.

What's wrong with you?  What's wrong with your body?
Everyone else is.  And is wondering why you're not.

Feeling David-sized in my voice, up against a Goliath-sized pack of lies, I decided to attempt a response. 

You are wrong.  Your taunts and arguments are wrong. You clearly do not know my God.

Teary and uncomposed, I continued.

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Below is an excerpt from a manuscript in process on sexuality, love and learning to follow Jesus.  Curious what you think about this topic of "the gift" of singleness.  The chapter at large focuses on "involuntary singleness," or what it looks like to live well in your single status, even though it's not your choice, per se (to be without a lady or guy-friend).  And frankly, that's what most of the book centers on, but I want to make sure I adequately represent the few who feel called to remaining single.  Are you one of these?  Do you know people like this?  Does the excerpt honor the stance and/or is there anything you'd add, or alter?

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I know how to be assertive in business; I don't know how to be responsive (not initiate) in relationships :(

It started off as a tweet. In my quiet time my thoughts grew louder until it made its way onto the page.

Here is my late night confession...

I can't ruin it and it's not [already] too late. Jesus please forgive me for thinking that You're not above or bigger than me and my problems. Seriously ridiculous.

The Lord always keeps his promises; he is gracious in all he does. The Lord helps the fallen and he lifts those bent beanth their loads. When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in everything he does, he is filled with kindness. The Lord is close to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him, he hears their cries for help and rescues them (Psalm 145:13-14, 16-19, NLT).

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I was a freshman in college when I started caring about God.  And not long after I started caring about the things and thoughts of God. 

Intervarsity was a campus ministry that ushered my initial engagements with Jesus.  I remember it like yesterday when the staff worker, Kim, was speaking at our weekly meeting.  She began with stories about marriage and joys shared with her husband Jeff.  But then she took a sharp turn, launching into a theme that shattered a part of me that’s never been the same.

Kim started explaining how Jeff didn’t complete her, nor would he ever satisfy, or provide her with a secure identity.  She said Jeff would never her quench her longings, or reach her deepest desires.  And that no matter how much he loved, honored and cherished her, Kim said out loud that Jeff would never be enough for her.

…”It all belongs to you! I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there” (1 Chronicles 29:16b-17).

Last night, I watched Frank on The Bachelorette break Ali’s heart. Whether it was staged, scripted or the truth–what he did to her sucks. Total douche.

Which got me to think. I am Frank. Insecure. Selfish. Emotional. Easily persuaded. Full of regret. Feelings.

I wish I had the guts to break up with my last job sooner than I did. Let’s be honest. I was scared to death of losing the one job that meant the world to me. The opportunities it afforded me were priceless.

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I 'm prepping for a talk on “Single Women in Ministry” and would love your feedback. What comes to mind when you hear that phrase? Who/what (if anything) has been meaningful to you toward feeling included in the church, or complete in your identity as a single? (Marrieds and men with feedback, feel free to pipe-in!)

"Grace makes beauty out of ugly things." - U2

That is one of my all time favorite lines from one of my all time favorite songs.  Truth be told, I'm not the world's biggest U2 fan, but I do enjoy their music.  Despite that honest admission of truth, the song "Grace" is one of those few songs that always stops me in my tracks and demands I listen to it in it's entirety.  The song has always captured my interest - but my interest in it grew exponentially when my then-wife and I were dreaming about starting a family.  In the throws of newlywed bliss, we talked about our future.  It was a future that optimistic - we’d own a house, have great friends, work jobs that we loved AND paid well, and start a beautiful family.  That family, we discussed, would include a daughter.  And maybe, just maybe, we'd name her Grace.  

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