The question is not: “Do you as a single parent love your children?” The question is: “Do your children feel loved?” Parental sincerity is not enough. We must learn to speak the child’s primary love language. I am convinced that much of the misbehavior of children is rooted in an empty love tank. Each child has a primary love language—the language that speaks most deeply to his soul and meets his emotional need to feel loved. If parents fail to discover and speak the child’s primary love language, the he may feel unloved even though the parent is speaking other languages.

Let me briefly review the five love languages, and let’s focus on seeking to apply them to your child.

...Through Words of Affirmation
This language lets you affirm your child’s worth through verbal expression. “I love you. You look nice in that dress. You did a good job making your bed. Great catch! Thanks for helping me wash the car. I’m proud of you.” These are words of affirmation.

1. Observe how your child expresses love to you. If your daughter is always looking for a hug, this may be an indication that her primary love language is physical touch. If your son is always giving praise or thanks-"Mommy, this is a good meal"-his love language may be words ofaffirmation.

2. Listen to your child's requests. What the child requests most often is a clue to his/her primary love language. "Daddy, can we go to the park?" "Mommy, can you read me a story?" These children are asking for quality time, and it is probably their primary love language.

3. Listen to the complaints. "Why didn't you bring me a present?" may be your son's way of telling you that his love language is gifts. "We don't ever go to the beach anymore?" may be an indication that the child's primary love language is quality time.