The wages of sin seem apparent to me as death this hour. Not in the funeral, graveside sense of the word, though those are evidenced as well, but what confounds me this morning is death’s residue within contexts of life--sin's ability to rob my abundance of true living, by heart-centered suffocation of awakeness to my Purified state, clean and complete.

What confounds me is sin's enticing pursuit of me as life’s center. Likewise, then, its rejection of others, and the grandiose Story of others being an integral part of mine, and vice versa. I lose sight of ubuntu*. I lose sight of what is real, unloosing my senses to that which is not. I lose sight of the fact that I am lovable- that we are creatures worth loving.

What's confounding of sin today is its ability to embitter me, detaching me in an instant from from that which I truly love. I am infatuated by its choice, and similarly, by its choice of me. Choosing sin, in my case, often means choosing ecstatic pleasures of the moment—ecstacies that will romance me for a lifetime, but satisfy me not for a day. And often I concede to sin’s choosing of me (not on a basis of my Value, but in vehement commitment to arousing addictions toward that which is not). I’d rather be picked, it seems, than believe in patience that truer Love is beckoning to pick me. I’d rather be sought after in my insecurity, or inability, or inconsistency, or inadequacy, even if by an illusion…than accept my purity, and guard it as if my sole means to all Seeing.

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The new film “The Road” is coming out this week. Viggo Mortensen plays a desperate father in post-apocalyptic America, walking south through the rubble as he tries to take his son to safety. It’s an amazingly gripping work, depicting survival in a lifeless landscape of ash and cold. It’s also a bit of a horror story, as some survivors succumb to cannibalism, as all other food (animal or vegetable) is dead and gone. 

I wonder how many Republican’s will see this film. And as they watch it, will they look at each other with raised eyebrows? For nearly one year now, the Republican Party has been journeying through the post-Bush rubble, searching for the America of the past. As they sift through the remains of Newt Gingrich’s conservative revolution, they have begun to starve.

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Woe to those who prefer the spirit of control over the spirit of liberty: will we expend the energy to pursue interior holiness?

(I'd rather not write this one.)

For years I've been thinking about a disturbing and distinct division among followers of Jesus. On the one hand I see many rediscovering the spirituality of the arts, befriending the unclear, finding beauty in the ambiguous, and celebrating difference. 

And on the other hand I see people craving more details, more definition, "how to" downloads...almost as though they were screaming, "God, just tell me what to do and I'll do it! Give me the 10 points and I'll follow to the letter. I don't have to understand, I just need to know what you want from me."

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(For an introduction to these thoughts, please view my blog from April 30th)

 Woe to those who crave fame: Do we possess the strength to be nothing?

Woe to us when...

...we daydream of greatness and call it being visionary.

...we long to be publicly affirmed in the superlative and call it God-confidence.

...we boast of opportunities and call it faith.

May we speak honestly about the spiritualization of ambition in the church?

Over fifteen years ago, I was slowly soaking in Christ's passion station by station in a desert prayer garden. Misunderstood, misrepresented, betrayed, beaten, rejected, mocked, ultimately murdered...in each moment of pain Jesus could have stopped the suffering with one word: "enough." But instead, Jesus assumed a posture of holy weakness.

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