In an astonishing announcement from our nation’s capitol, President Obama has confirmed that he was indeed a Kenyan-born plant; the key component of an African conspiracy to bring America back to a purely capitalistic governmental policy. With Glen Beck at his side, a broad grin on his face, and his trademark eloquence, President Obama announced a sweeping series of executive decrees.

Having sold all public schools to the McDonalds corporation’s new “Ronald McDonald Happy School” division, parents of any student enrolled would now be responsible to pay the nearly $25,000 annual tuition that the “communist socialists” administrations of the past had supported. Tuition will include a free Happy Meal as part of a “Freedom Fridays” celebration.

In addition, all “socialist intrusion” in higher education is also ending. Harvard University reported being swamped with new applications, as their $ 50,000 plus annual tuition is suddenly very competitive to the formerly “socialist enclaves” known as public universities. A deal with the Ford Corporation, who has launched a “Forderversities” division, is pending. It is rumored that top graduates will receive free, eight cylinder Explorers, left over from the socialist expansion of President Bush.

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Basketball analogies have been really popular lately, like Sarah Palin’s “pass the ball and leave the court” point guard talk. So here’s my analogy for where Obama’s health care plan has ended up after last night’s speech: he drove to the net, lifted off the gleaming hardwood court of ideals, and split the double team of industry interests and Republican fear mongering.  Did the ball go in? It seems to be swirling around the rim, but I’m hopeful.

Health care coverage is a result of the problem, not the problem. The real issue is the structure of the $2 trillion health care industry. This is not a new contention, but has been wrestled with by American Presidents like Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Carter, Clinton, and Bush.  As President Obama noted, “I am not the first President to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last. It has now been nearly a century since Theodore Roosevelt first called for health care reform. And ever since, nearly every President and Congress, whether Democrat or Republican, has attempted to meet this challenge in some way. A bill for comprehensive health reform was first introduced by John Dingell Sr. in 1943. Sixty-five years later, his son continues to introduce that same bill at the beginning of each session.” Successful smoke and mirrors by the health care lobby has kept the focus on the people not covered, which keeps tax payer dollars flowing toward increasing coverage, not fixing the problem and saving money.

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Conversant Life is at its best when it creates a dialogue. Part of what has weakened the witness of the church has been its inability to have an intelligent conversation without it degenerating into a “Liberal” vs “Conservative” cage match. Thanks to each of you who have engaged a difficult issue in this wonderful cyber-community.

Three things I have come away with:

I might not think highly enough of the church. Several friends have pointed out that the church’s role in this mess is to step in and provide for those in need. Wow, I love that. And, to be honest, I also think, “good luck!” Maybe if churches cleared out the pews and replaced them with aluminum hospital beds, or if we liquidated all the overhead projectors stored in dusty basement Sunday school rooms, we might have a chance. Maybe I’m too cynical. I need to work that out.  

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Dr. Tattersall was a fine country doctor lifted from a Norman Rockwell painting, complete with white hair and kind eyes. He worked out of a pine-paneled office attached to his home on the only road in our area busy enough to have a painted yellow line running down the middle. For most of my early years, Dr. Tattersall stitched me, vaccinated me, and kept me in one piece.

I suspect many of us have memories of our first doctor. We tend to equate health care with something familiar, like the geeky gecko personifying insurance giant Geico. But the health care business isn’t really Dr. Tattersall or a cute lizard. It’s a $2 trillion dollar industry, one of the largest in the United States. It has the most to lose in the current discussion and a fitting reputation for playing hard and dirty anytime health care reform is proposed.

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I’m a bit perplexed by the initial Christian response to the health care crisis. Now, you might not know there is a crisis. If you are college educated and employed, you are likely to have Aetna’s golden ticket tucked into your wallet. Go get a check up, laugh at the $15 co-pay, and be grateful for living the American dream.

But what about the others? And what’s driving this crazy health care debate/debacle/disgrace? I look forward to writing a couple of blogs that track through the issue of health care. I know, me and 10,000 other writer-wannabes, trying to scale Mount Everest in slick Adidas sneakers. But I hope we can see Conversant Life do what it does best - create a platform for a healthy discussion. I don’t mind if you disagree with me or others who post, just think first and post second. If you are one of the wing nuts who recently took up screaming at Congressmen in crowded town hall meetings, head back into the attic and unravel the next conspiracy. The rest of us want to have some adult time.

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Remember the dark days of international travel, back when Bush/Cheney were kicking tail and taking names? When sneered at by an effeminate French waiter, we would claim “Canadian” and recite Curling statistics. We practiced using northern intonations and ending sentences with “eh?” Looking back, it was pretty ugly.

But today? Not so bad. The Pew Global Attitudes Project just released data on the perception of America by other nations. Since President Obama’s inauguration, things have been looking up. The survey of people in fifty-five nations showed better attitudes toward the United States in places as disparate as Western Europe, Africa and Latin America, even in Muslim nations.

And get this: For the first time since Pew began making the comparison, people in Turkey, Egypt, and Indonesia (each with mostly Muslim populations) expressed greater confidence in the American President than they did in Osama bin Laden. I would have loved to be a locust on the wall of his cave when bin Laden got that news! 

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I’m mad. At President Obama. Surprised? Don’t worry, the bumper stickers are still on the CRV and the Outback. Not going to scrape them off, either. In fact, when the time comes, I’m just going to paste big fat “12s” on both bumpers and be all set for the next run. Anyway, I’m still ticked off. It’s time to quit swatting at flies and time to take a stand on Iran.

A couple of weeks ago, President Obama stood in the “timeless city of Cairo” and gave a remarkable speech. I actually teared up as I watched it, deeply proud of a new President who is so different from the old. He honored the Islamic faithful by acknowledging their contributions to the world and the need for Americans to engage, not enrage. It was quite a moment.

Towards the end of the speech, President Obama, in his professorial outline, hit his fourth point: democracy. As he reflected on the role of America supporting democracy in the Arab world, he acknowledged the missteps of the last administration (anyone else want free elections in Palestine?). Then he said, “But I do have an unyielding belief that all people yearn for certain things: the ability to speak your mind and have a say in how you are governed; confidence in the rule of law and the equal administration of justice; government that is transparent and doesn’t steal from the people; the freedom to live as you choose. These are not just American ideals, they are human rights, and that is why we will support them everywhere.”

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The quiet dark of the Dallas suburb was suddenly shattered by George’s terrible screams. Laura leaped out of the Emperor sized bed, pulling the printed silk bathrobe around her as she quickly turned to her pale husband. “That dream again?” she asked, in her soft southern drawl.  “Yeah. Yeah it was. Can’t  get over it, Laura.” Laura spoke soothingly, as she placed her arm around his trembling shoulders. “The mirror dream again” she said, with an air of finality. “What can it mean?” George demanded. “I get up, walk across the room, and as I get closer, I see Osama bin Laden where I should be seeing me! I end up staring right up in his face, when I should be staring at me!”  

I wonder if this has ever happened. I think Osama Bin Laden and George Bush have some interesting things in common, and that their similarities are what can make us so uncomfortable with President Obama’s reaching out to the Muslim world, especially Iran. I’m not trying to compare them completely, and I’m not justifying what bin Laden has done. Not at all. But I do think we should look at the two and consider the potential mirror image of their approaches.  

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While my first passion (and formal training) is in theology and philosophy, I do love following politics. For balance, I regularly read the HuffingtonPost.com (liberal) Townhall.com (conservative) and watch CNN and Fox News to try and get multiple sides of every issue. For the past couple weeks, I’ve decided to pay even closer attention to the words of President Obama. In doing so, I’m amazed at how many times he directly contradicts himself. Yet what’s more amazing is that the mainstream media doesn’t pick up on these. Consider a few…

President Obama: Can we emphasize your Muslim roots or not? During the presidential campaign you strongly downplayed your Islamic background (strong criticism was leveled at those who included your middle name “Hussein.”) Yet in your recent speech in Cairo you emphasized your background and sympathy for Islam. In fact, you boasted of having “known Islam on three continents.” Which is it? And how far does your sympathy for Islam go? Why did you speak out immediately against the killing of Dr. Tiller, but were very slow in response to the murder at the recruiting office by an American Muslim?

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In an extraordinary development on sunny Capitol Hill this week, conservative Republicans nominated a used Dell Laptop computer as an alternative to President Obama’s nominee, Judge Sonia Sotomayor. While the concerned Congressmen are not technically allowed to name nominations to the Supreme Court, Republicans cited Dick Cheney’s role as Vice President as a precedent for unprecedented Capitol Hill behavior.

According to the nominators, the Dell Laptop is appropriately devoid of feelings and empathy, two newly developed Republican disqualifications for the role of Supreme Court Justice. Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Republican leader, is looking for decisions free of “feelings or personal or political preferences” and found that the Dell Laptop was well qualified. “The only comparable potential nominee who fit our profile was Mr. Spock, but after a tireless search, it was determined that he does not actually exist.”

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