Ten ways to make sure you only receive polite, obligatory gestures on Father's Day

  1. Show up only for milestones, but never for the mundane.
  2. Disregard your health.
  3. Lecture your child on the benefits of a clean bedroom.
  4. Drop off your children at church on Sunday and pick them up when they're done.
  5. Take your kids to the movies or give them money when they earn good grades; withhold favors when they don’t. 
  6. Buy a big screen TV and then say you can’t afford piano lessons.
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