Below is a message I shared at a women's Christmas gathering this morning.

When’s the last time you compared yourself to someone? What aspect of them were you desiring, or disliking about yourself? 

Whether it’s someone’s jeans, thighs, job, boyfriend, grades, gifts, hair, family, facebook profile, height, voice, kids, car, boobs, butt, nail-color, vacation, pregnancy, wedding, house, friends, style, nose, shoes, smile, husband, story, knowledge, wardrobe, or weight…we’re all prone to envy.  We all struggle with desiring beyond what we’ve been given. And wanting to become like someone, or wanting what someone has, isn’t a sin, but when desire bleeds into resentment, it becomes envy.  And envy can literally strangle the life out of us.

We envy because we’re discontent with who we are, and therefore, see it in another and can’t help but resent them. We envy because we forget who God is (as ultimate author and unwaveringly good) and we forget who we are (as His craftsmanship). The odd thing though, given that envy is all around us, is that we rarely talk about it—maybe especially in the Church. Jesus’ brother said, “where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:16).  So clearly envy threatens our joy and care for other people. And it threatens our enjoyment of God’s creative design over our specific situation. Envy leads us to resent what others have, which can’t help but emphasize what we don’t. St. Augustine calls envy, “dissatisfaction with our place in God’s order of creation, manifested in begrudging his gifts and vocations to others.”

But Jesus saved us from such a shallow way of criticizing and/or securing ourselves, right?  Well, yeah, in Truth, but the anti-trinity (the world, the devil and our flesh) still pursue our identity and security on a daily basis. So what’s the cure, then? 

An often overlooked character in Jesus’ narrative story, who shines some light here, is Elizabeth. In Luke 1, we find Mary, a virgin who’s just been told she’s pregnant with the Son of God, traveling about seventy miles from Nazareth to visit Elizabeth, a elderly relative who’s six months pregnant with who we now know as “John the Baptist.” It was likely refreshing for Mary to hang-out with someone older and more experienced than her teenage wisdom, and Elizabeth had had quite a miraculous conception, as well, and must’ve been an encouragement in believing Mary’s unbelievable account.

But put yourself in Elizabeth’s shoes for a second. Might you have felt a twinge of envy? I mean, why did Mary get to be pregnant right after puberty (instead of menopause), while Elizabeth had been so prayerful and obedient, and barren, for decade after decade after decade? Why does Mary get to look all young and cute and vibrant, while Elizabeth withers away in fat and wrinkles and a husband who can’t even talk anymore? Surely Elizabeth was grateful for the son God had given her, but wouldn’t it make sense for her to wonder why God didn’t give her, versus a teenager, the really special one? Hadn’t He heard this faithful Jewish woman’s desires to be the Messiah’s mother?  Apart from the grace of the Holy Spirit, yes, these thoughts probably would’ve been Elizabeth’s. But look instead at how she responds: 

Do you ever find yourself praying away your circumstances? I do. However, when I look at my “wishes” I often find contradictory statements…  “Please let us have a bigger house so we won’t be so crowded.” Then…“If we had a smaller house it wouldn’t take me so long to clean it.” Or…“May I have a job that is more mentally challenging?” To…”I wish I had an easier job so I wouldn’t have to think so much.” and on and on it goes.

As I drove in to work this morning, my prayers were filled with petitions to God for Him to change a circumstance in my life. But my mind floundered. What would happen if He removed the circumstance? Would that solve the problem and bring me peace? Or would I be bored and complacent?

I thought about this and then Mary, the mother of Jesus, came to mind. If there was ever a woman tempted to wish away her circumstances, Mary was probably it….