Consider the following conversation with a college student recently:

“So what’s going on with you spiritually?” I asked through the steam of two cups of coffee.
“You know, I’m doing okay, but really struggling in a certain area.”
At which point the coming minutes became relatively predictable.
“Hmm,” I said, trying to remain at height with the conversation, “would you feel comfortable unpacking the struggle a little more?”
“Yeah…I guess…I mean, I think a lot of people struggle with it, too…it’s just that, well, I don’t really know what to do about it. Like…I don’t really know why it’s so bad lately.”
“Well,” I said, seeing shame embodied before me, “let’s try to at least get this “it” on the table, and then maybe we’ll go from there.”
“Okay…well, it’s just this problem with…lust…I think about the opposite sex and sex and just lustful stuff all the time.”
“Okay,” I said, “talk to me about those thoughts a little more.”
“Ummm, I don’t know what else to say…it’s just like really bad and really gross.”
At this point the student became more frustrated at the “it,” or the self, or something of the two. “It’s like I can’t get lustful thoughts out of my head. And they come-up at random times, like while I’m trying to study, or watch TV, or even trying to pray!?”
“Seems like God is unveiling a lot here. Thank you for being willing to talk about it. It’s clearly been burdening you a lot.”
“Yeah…yeah, it really has,” the student said, looking down at the table. “I hate it. And I hate me when I hate it. And I can’t imagine how God would want anything to do with this—and definitely me in this.”