Today millions of dining rooms are filling up with strange, emotionally stunted families doing their best to fake Thanksgiving. I’m asking you not to participate in such foolery, suggesting instead that you prepare your spirit ahead of time with the same level of commitment you bring to the giant, stuffed turkey. If you do, you may discover that the most difficult family celebrations are the ones God uses best.

Even the coziest families struggle with authenticity. Few of us get to choose our dinner party guests; planning the guest list is often fraught with obligation and hostility. The anger that hides in little fortresses all year long must come out from behind the stone wall and show itself.  We fret about the way so-and-so micromanages the dinner, the way that certain parent refuses to discipline his child, the way that certain teenager avoids eye contact—every weakness is exposed in a small dining room. And those are the small things. Thanksgiving will probably make you angry, not grateful. Why do you think Costco sells more bottles of wine this month than any other?