I am all about school. Seriously. Investigate my lifestyle and you’ll see that education has got its fingerprints all over my life. My house smells of graduate programs and GPA’s that burned up many a report card. My three kids have collected a stack of honors certificates with gold seals dating back to the nineties, and they do their homework before they eat cookies. My husband, a somewhat unorthodox scholar, has joyfully contributed to the madness by earning degrees in postmodern literature, accounting, education, and theology. In short, every day our family trots off to five different classrooms and makes nice with Education. It’s not bragging; it’s part of our privileged American upbringing. What has education given me? A world that’s bigger and more textured than it was before--a sprawling globe of beautiful foreigners, mind-expanding matter like black hole theories and computer gadgets and microscopic things, philosophical ideas that I might not have ever considered before, and sometimes the utterly gorgeous uselessness of information that drives my curiosity and throws opens my curtains. Education takes tiny, insular people and lights a fuse under them, exploding to bits the depressingly narrow alley that keeps us poor, closes our minds, and makes us dull. Education improves everything.
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I bought a sweater once that was "one-size-fits-all," but I quickly discovered that "one-size-fits-all" is a bold-faced lie. When it comes to clothing, one size most definitely does not fit all. I am a size four, and the sweater practically swallowed me whole. It was supposed to be one of those items that stretched and retracted to accommodate its wearer, but instead it was bunchy and bulky and unflattering. It quickly moved to the back of my closet, only to be donated to Goodwill for some other gullible shopper to get suckered into buying.