Step 1:  Trust God.

Immediately, I fell on my knees, sought Him, and went back to church.  My sense of failure sent me there -- love, forgiveness, and restoration kept me there.

Step 2:  Find community.

Family support was key, as was friend support.  Stepping into community with fierce protectors, of me and my marriage, kept me strong.  And fighting.

Step 3:  Remain hopeful.  

I remained hopeful, first for our reconciliation.  Then, for my own restoration.

Step 4:  Be honest.

There was a period of time early on where I couldn’t share what was going on at home.  But hiding that anguish never felt healthy.  I needed to discuss how I felt to get to a new level of honesty about me, about us.