A good friend of mine is the top dog in an outfit that does incredibly good things for the poor wo try to survive in the dusty folds just across our borders. He lives very modestly and drives a used four-wheel drive SUV as is apt for a mission ministry that survives off of the generosity and sacrifice of others.

A life long bachelor, he has given his years to God’s service and the needs of the poor, and as such, has deeply inspired many. So much so that one day a wealthy supporter pulled him aside and handed him the keys to fancy sports car.

“This is for you” he said, “If anyone deserves it, you do”.

For several months my friend drove this gift around, marveling at its speed, handling and luxury.

But the whole time there was a queasy feeling in his gut.

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Here are some thoughts on a topic we all know: the dreaded elephant in the room, that big thing that haunts your life. Check it out, and then check out my latest book, Deep Like Me.

I just watched another marriage blow into pieces. Kids are involved, and I fear that they are at the age where the shrapnel from the explosion in their world will do the most damage.

There was no good reason for the pin to be pulled but pulled it was and the party wanting out of the marriage made sure to do so in a very strident and bloody fashion.

And I know what happens now: craziness.

The abandoned spouse, now temporarily stunned, sooner or later will feel the full weight of remorse, anger, guilt, mourning, emptiness, imbalance, fear and loneliness. The one who pulled the pin will at first feel euphoria mixed with guilt to be followed later by blame, loathing, anger mostly directed toward others.

Emotions will be raw, the hurt palpable, understood only by those who have experienced them.

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Sport’s most famous non-celebrant had reason to celebrate again last night. But he didn’t plan to.

Josh Hamilton, the American League MVP candidate and centerfielder for the Texas Rangers, stayed away from the Tropicana Field clubhouse. He lingered on the field, did an interview or two, and let his teammates do their bubbly thing inside.

Turns out, though, his teammates had a surprise for Hamilton. They left the champagne and beer at the liquor store. When Hamilton finally, reluctantly entered the clubhouse, his teammates were waiting. With ginger ale.

Nearly three weeks ago he did the same elusive thing in Oakland, when the Rangers clinched their division. That time, Hamilton had an excellent “excuse,” as it was Faith Night at the Coliseum and Hamilton was on tap to deliver his testimony.

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We had the good fortune to travel to the balmy island of Kaua’i (notice the apostrophe – I’m pretty much a local now) last week. We try to get to Hawai’i (again, notice apostrophe) every February to escape the gray doldrums of living in the Pacific Northwest in the winter. Mid-January, our Southern California blood starts demanding we get it some Vitamin D. We use our companion tickets for airfare and my in-laws graciously cover the accommodations. So, the trip really is almost free, if we refrain from eating out too much while we’re on the island. Almost free paradise is my kind of paradise. We were in Kaua’i when we got the news that we can go pick up our son at the end of March. The news felt surreal, dream-like. We weren’t expecting this news until at least mid-summer. I e-mailed a few friends about the news but mostly just walked around in a daze induced by tropical landscape and shock. Toward the end of our trip, I was finally able to blog about it somewhat articulately to announce the news to the world (see previous post).

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Mike Foster is the co-author of “Deadly Viper Character Assassins” and blogs at www.DeadlyViper.org  You can follow his thoughts on life and leadership at Twitter.com/mikefoster 

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Mike Foster is the co-author of "Deadly Viper Character Assassins" and blogs at DeadlyViper.org.

You can follow his nuggets on leadership, life and grace at Twitter.com/mikefoster.

 

 

Why I Don't Believe in Christian Accountability, Part 1

I am deeply committed to all of us living a life of radical integrity and grace. Through Deadly Viper I get the chance to work with leaders on personal sustainability and living a life with no regrets. And though I champion the ideas of transparency, authenticity, and brutal honesty, I don't believe in Christian accountability.