Four Friends and a Funeral

Won Kim — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:13:54 -0800

On a recent Saturday, I attended a funeral to honor the passing of a friend’s mom. All I knew driving to the funeral was that she died of cancer, and that funerals are almost always sad. This particular day proved the latter wrong.

People say, or at least I’ve heard it said, that funerals bring people and memories together. The strange thing with this funeral is that I hardly knew my friend’s mom. All I wanted to do was support my friend through what has been a tough year. I decided to carpool with four friends, all of which shared the same sentiment: support our friend during this time of loss.

If you Google mapped our journey, it began in New York City to North Jersey to a quick stop at a rest area for gas and coffee and then a straight shot down the New Jersey Turnpike toward Princeton. During our drive, the five of us caught up on life, discussed various current events, commented on the blandness of the Turnpike scenery and then before you knew it, arrived at our destination.

At the suggestion of a very intuitive friend, we all spent a few minutes in our parked car praying for our dear friend and his family. During this short time of prayer, our hearts reached out for our friend, and even felt the remorse of losing such a significant figure in one’s life. The memorial service was brief, but the stories shared in remembrance of a life once lived reminded me how important it is to be in the details.

Story after story painted a picture of a life that was lived well. No long oration about some generalized significance of this mother, wife and friend to many, but small snippets of tangential stories that somehow connected to form an outline of a good life. It was peaceful and subtly joyous.

The day ended with my four friends and myself cramming into the car and riding north on the Turnpike. For some reason, a greater appreciation for the small stuff and the details overwhelmed me. In my mind, I took frozen pictures of our time together. In my heart, I took notes of the conversations we had, making sure I made footnotes regarding the depth, the lightness and the laughter. It reminded me of a poignant verse in Luke 2:19 that captures Mary’s response to the amazing events surrounding the birth of Jesus, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

Pondering is a necessary activity. It’s part examination, part meditation, part slowing things down. During this Lent season, let us ponder about the living presence of God in our life. Remember the great stories and be reminded that God is in the details.