character

The Hedge Test

Chris Tomlinson — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 18:25:32 -0700

It has been said that the true character of a man is what he does when no one else is looking. I might amend that to say: the true character of a man is what his heart is inclined to do, and what he does, when no one is looking.

I realized this yesterday as I was helping my mother-in-law trim her hedge. I’ve never trimmed a hedge before, but it didn’t look all that hard, so I volunteered. And it wasn’t hard in a mountain-climbing, desert-crossing kind of way, but it wasn’t something I’d typically do on a relaxing vacation either.

Using old-school hedge shears and a small platform ladder, I took to the top and the side of this long, overgrown hedge, and over the course of the next hour or so, I made good progress in the 90 degree heat. I wanted to do a good job, doing my work with excellence, making a good impression on the in-laws, and doing my work for the glory of God. So I took special care to round the top corners and get clean lines along the sides, you know, making the hedge look like it belonged with the best of hedges.

But before long, I realized I needed to go around to the neighbor’s side of the hedge to complete the project. And there is where I found a test of my character, waiting in the shade of cascading fruit trees. Sure, this side of the hedge needed trimming as well, but it was the neighbor’s side after all, so my in-laws wouldn’t really see it. And the hedge was mostly hidden from view by the trees, so maybe the neighbors wouldn’t really see it either. So I thought about skimping on the work, offering a few token cuts with the shears on a side no one would notice.

But that’s when the refrain echoed in my mind: the true test of a man’s character… I realized that if I really meant to work for the glory of God, to cut this hedge for His glory, as it if were His hedge I was trimming (which it was after all), then it meant doing all of the work as if all of it could be seen.

Jeremiah tells us that our God, “who judges righteously…tests the heart and the mind” (Jeremiah 11:20). Jesus tells us that “I am he who searches mind and heart” (Revelation 2:23), and that “nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known” (Luke 12:2).

I decided to cut the entire hedge as if it were God’s, and I’m grateful to Him for testing and revealing the hidden things in my heart. My prayer for all of us is that He would continue to test us, and change us, and shape our hearts and minds and hands so that all the things we do will be for His glory alone, and that our character, as we’re being conformed to the image of Christ, would be sharpened by the shears of His Spirit, so we might be presented to Him as perfect and holy.

Question: What is one of your stories of character-testing?

Lessons in control and character from Tiger and Phil

Stan Jantz — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 21:35:05 -0700

You don't have to be a golf fan to appreciate what happened at the Masters on Sunday. You just have to be a fan of the twists and turns of human nature. There in the final round on the storied Augusta National golf course, two titanic golfers were pitted against each other. On one side you had Tiger Woods, the world's number one golfer, working through difficult circumstances created by his own woeful behavior. On the other side you had Phil Michelson, the world's second best golfer, dealing with difficult circumstances outside his control.

Throughout the four-day golf tournament, Tiger thought he was in control, but he wasn’t. He played well for a guy who's been off for four months, but his shots were erratic. And his occasional verbal outbursts belied his stated intentions to be a different kind of golfer. As the afternoon shadows lengthened and he slipped further from contention, Tiger seemed to get smaller and less significant.

By comparison, Phil was steady throughout the tournament and especially sharp on Sunday. He seemed to grow in confidence. As he marched to his inevitable victory, the announcers began talking about his wife, Amy, who was able to travel with her husband for the first time in months because she is battling breast cancer.

It isn't Phil Michelson's style to draw attention to his wife's life-and-death struggle, except for the small pink ribbon visible on his hat, but you knew it was on his mind. After sinking a birdie putt on the 18th green to seal the win by three strokes, he walked to where his wife and three children were standing in the crowd. He embraced Amy tightly but tenderly, a small tear trickling down his cheek.

In the end, the most famous athlete in the world, who thinks he's in control of his game and his character, was far from it. And the golfer they call Lefty, who has quietly played in Tiger's shadow for a dozen years, on this day stood head and shoulders above him, in control of his game and, more importantly, his character.

Sports and revelation

Jeff Hopper — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 09:24:50 -0800

Let’s begin with the lingering question: do sports form character or reveal it?

When my wife, who is a sometimes sports fan, asked what I would first write about in Competitive Juices, I posed that question to her. Her answer was perfect. She said, “Yes.”

For those who play sports, even at a “recreational” level (where, of course, a score is still kept), sports may form one’s character as he or she learns discipline and perseverance and camaraderie and even, we hope, humility not only from failure but in success. But the most daunting moments in sports also reveal one’s character, particularly as it relates to the words of one’s mouth spewing forth the abundance of one’s heart.

Some writers coined “the Tiger Slam” to describe the golf star’s four consecutive major championship victories (though not in the requisite calendar year for a “true” slam). But the Tiger Slam could just as easily refer to what Woods frequently does with his club after he has hit a bad shot. Is this the heat of competition or a revelation of his character? I might say “You decide,” but it is really for Tiger himself to wrestle with and perhaps to confess to.

What any of us say or do, especially when the fires in our bellies are raging, exposes our own heart. Through those words and actions we see of ourselves what God sees within us. That’s why contending with others often demands that we contend with Him.

So here’s a further inquiry: what do sports tell us about sports fans? Do sports form or reveal the character of a fan? Here I would have to say that the scales tip from what may be a 50-50 proposition to something closer to 20-80.

For the fan who watches sports, particularly if they have suffered long with the Cubs or Clippers or Saints, say, there is some degree of character formation. These fans know longsuffering and they continually seek a renewal of hope. There is some learning, some forming of character in that, I suppose.

But far greater when it comes to sports fans—the 80 percent side of the balance—is the revealing of character. What does it say about a man that he will dress like some sort of acid rock star/medieval warrior/pirate in black and silver to attend a football game (think Raider nation) or pay thousands for season tickets so he can “have the right” to profanely taunt opposing players (as I once had a fan across the Bay at Candlestick Park tell me so)? What does it say about a certain Italian TV “journalist”—and those who watch her—that she would sneak up and grab David Beckham where he isn’t supposed to be grabbed just to see if he lives ups to his underwear ads?

Here’s the answer to those questions: it says something disturbing.

So here we sit on the eve week of the world’s biggest sporting spectacle. Most of us will be fans this Sunday, even if “our team” didn’t make it. I’m wondering what will come out in us.

Mike Foster: Why I Don't Believe In Accountability Part 2

Guest Voices — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 10:35:58 -0700

Mike Foster is the co-author of “Deadly Viper Character Assassins” and blogs at www.DeadlyViper.org You can follow his thoughts on life and leadership at Twitter.com/mikefoster

WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN CHRISTIAN ACCOUNTABILITY! PART 2

I truly believe it is time to reinvent and rethink this very important component of our lives. Over the years, Christian accountability has deformed into a very ugly, uninspiring, and broken system.

First off, I want to change the word from “accountability” to “advocacy.” If we are going to redefine a process and introduce a new concept, I think it needs a new word. The word I use in this context with fellow friends and leaders is advocacy. The term can be described as active support, intercession, or pleading and arguing in favor of someone.

So let’s take a look at what advocacy means.

Radical Grace Is The Foundation:
Radical grace is the core engine for any healthy relationship. You can not have true transparency or confession without it. I encourage people to make verbal commitments to each other and clearly state that they will stand by one another through the best AND the worst.

Most people live with the fear of rejection and allow this fear to dictate how honest they will be with others. In advocacy, we are constantly demonstrating that this relationship is a safe place. Through our response to one another’s failures, our own deep confession, and reminding each other that we are in this for the long haul, we implement radical grace.

Focus on the Yes, not the No:
Advocacy focuses on the “yes,” not the “no.” Too often typical Christian accountability revolves around long lists of what NOT to do. We spend way too much time discussing and managing the sin. Often we lock onto the most minor unhealthy behaviors and think that’s going to prepare us for success in life. Unfortunately we operate on the faulty assumption that working on the symptoms will address the core problem. Bad idea!!!

Advocacy spurs us on to the “yes.” It revolves around the crazy good things that we should be engaging in. It pushes us to live a life of positive risks, creativity, adventure, and significance. We rally around each other in this and focus our relationships around this theme.

I truly believe a large amount of moral blowouts flow from boredom and dissatisfaction. We become depressed and unsatisfied with our life, career, and marriage and then we enter into dangerous territory. Why? Because we are not focusing on the “Yes!”

I know that in my own life I become vulnerable when I have lost a sense of mission and purpose. Having an advocate in our life is important in reminding us of our calling.

Priority on People, Not Organizations
When people fail or become involved in some scandal, too often we immediately consider the ramifications on the organization or company. I’ve talked to many Christians who are very concerned about when a pastor falls of how this impacts the cause of Christ.

Unfortunately, we place more concern on the damage to the brand of Christianity or the church instead of the fallen individual. I’ve seen horrific and hurtful things happen to people in the name of protecting the organization instead of the fallen person. Quite frankly, that sucks!!!

If you haven’t figured it out by now, Christianity’s brand is failures and wrecked lives. Churches are places with messy people who do stupid things. I’ve certainly made my contribution to this effort with my mistakes.
In advocacy the importance is placed on the individual. It is about people, especially those who are most broken. The organization, church or company should take a back seat.

Multi Group Approach
Christian accountability often is accomplished in small groups that are too general or with just one person that puts too much responsibility on one individual.

Advocacy embraces having multiple layers of transparency and connection. I have about 10 people who are involved in spurring me on to a life of integrity. They can actively speak into my life and I would listen and make the necessary tweaks.

However, I have about 4 people who I have a deeper connection with and discuss harder things. I also have more structure with this group. This is what I consider to be the core.
But even beyond the core, I have one friend that has full access. We take complete responsibility for each others integrity, purity, and sustainability. I refer to this person as my “first call.” When the crap hits the fan, I call him first.

Each layer moves into a greater level of commitment and advocacy and each layer has an important role.