A rapid-fire tongue has not served me well in marriage is an understatement. My ability to defend myself verbally in our relationship is in reality a restless evil, a deadly poison (James 3:8). It is more than a desire to debate; it is a desire to be right. And more than a desire to be right, it is a desire to rule and control. It is a desire to be my own god.
I wasn’t 25 before I realized that I had absolutely no idea how to be married. I brought a lifetime of bad ideas and bloated expectations to this enigmatic relationship, and the deeper we got into marriage, the more ridiculous some of my most basic assumptions about it proved to be. After slamming doors and screaming matches became regular hobbies of ours, I knew I needed to put some of these basic expectations to the test.
Marriage, like all good things, takes work. It will come with its share of challenges and heavy moments. But God promises us that when we stop living for ourselves, when we honor and love our spouses the way Christ honored and loved the church, we’ll discover a relationship that is more precious than we could have ever hoped for. It’s a love that’s worth fighting for.
Many men say they want beautiful wives. Few men understand how much the beauty of a wife depends upon her husband. Worry, criticism, ‘helpful’ critique – all of these things tear down a wife. After a few years of nothing but fault-finding from her husband, she begins to show the signs of weariness, like a public building. But welcoming love and encouragement builds up a wife. Pretty soon, she looks like an opulent palace.
robin submitted 12 weeks ago - (themusicandthemadness.wordpress.com) » 0 Comments
Currently in a relationship, I find myself acting and communicating (or not communicating) in ways that would suggest I’m scared. Scared about everything except the one thing as I Christian I need be ‘scared’ about: Am I fearing the Lord? Am I spending my life, my time, my energy, my heart, my all, to bring glory to him?
Twenty years ago today, I was waiting in a hallway right next to the baptistery where I was immersed a decade before. Within a few moments, I stood in front of my home church to greet my bride, Maria Hanna, and to pledge to her before God and those witnesses my love and my life. Today, I look back and wonder what all we’ve learned in these twenty years together. The main thing is that I’m glad we didn’t wait until we were ready to get married.
Many of the most demoralizing beliefs about marriage, especially when it comes to discouraging statistics commonly passed around, are just not true, says social researcher and best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn.
My parents divorced in 2003. I was living in Central America teaching English when the voice came through the phone, and it felt another world away. They had been separated for nearly two years, but really, who was counting? They'd been fighting for a few years by then and, like the nails in my 14 year-old brother's coffin, their marriage was buried.
Earlier this week Daniel and I both read a helpful article on what to do when your twenties aren't what you hoped they would be. We can relate. We got married in our twenties and they weren't what we thought they would be. In some ways they were better and in others much, much harder. But we do know one thing: We are not the same people today that we were five years ago. And for that we are grateful.