I was lying on the floor pushing Thomas the Tank Engine around his wooden track when I realized my young son had been speaking to me for the past 30 seconds, but I hadn't listened to a word he had said. Instead, I was too preoccupied thinking about the church. Those precious moments were now gone---never to return.

 Sadly, I bet many other pastors can relate.

Not long ago, estrangements between family members, for all the anguish they can cause, could mean a fairly clean break. People would cut off contact, never to be heard from again unless they reconciled. But in a social network world, estrangement is being redefined, with new complications. Relatives can get vivid glimpses of one another’s lives through Facebook updates, Twitter feeds and Instagram pictures of a grandchild or a wedding rehearsal dinner. And those glimpses are often painful reminders of what they have lost.

We live in a culture where many would write off fatherhood as a nice but quite unnecessary option in the lives of children. One or two mommies will do just fine. It’s a way of understanding the family that is summed up on T-shirts, bibs, and hoodies proudly and succinctly announcing: "My Daddy’s Name is Donor." That worldview is as dangerous as it is ignorant.

Religious groups that have babies, retain the faithful and attract converts have a better chance of surviving than those that do not. Of course, their tough doctrinal standards may also mean that a smaller percentage of the larger culture chooses to be part of the flock. The flock may be small, yet growing and vital. The issue is not how this flock fares in relationship to the whole culture, but in relationship to other segments of its larger faith flock.

I would suggest instead that what was still is, and what is not never was. God’s promise in Exodus 20 is not that He will send fresh judgment against one generation for the sins of another generation. God does not have beside His throne a box full of thunderbolts that He hurls down on sinners. Much less does He hurl down thunderbolts against someone’s great grandchildren. The consequences of our sin are much more organic than that, as are the results of our obedience.

I don't claim to know everything about parenting, but I do know parents do their children a disservice by constantly sugarcoating their shortcomings to protect their feelings. I can't think of a more surefire way to raise a loser than not allowing a child to learn what it really takes to be a winner.

I'm a father of four and I know much less about parenting than I did before I became a parent. I've realized that there are certain things about fatherhood you can only learn until you actually become a dad.

I would like to offer a few insights from my dying analog generation to one high school senior in particular, who will soon be heading to the University of Chicago. Because he spends most of his time locked in his room, on his computer, ignoring my emails and texts, this is what I hope to share with him during one of our rare face-to-face encounters.

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Do you, like me, have family members who do not believe in Jesus? If so, we are in good company. So did Jesus. And I think this is meant to give us hope. According to the Apostle John, “not even his brothers believed in him” (John 7:5). That’s incredible.