Q: Alicia, if God is real, then why does the Bible say one thing about who He is, yet my life depict another? (Ex. His Word says He's my protector, yet I haven't seen that....) So, is He a liar?
A: I see in this question the evidence of pain. Pain—emotional or physical—is exhausting and it reduces truth to bare bones. But bones are held together by flesh and blood which frankly makes it a rather messy affair.
Yes, God was Joseph’s protector. And as Joseph’s protector he allowed Joseph to be rejected, sold as a slave, imprisoned, accused of adultery, torn from his home.
Yes, God was John the Baptist’s protector and he allowed John to be imprisoned and beheaded.
Yes, he was David’s protector and he did not violate David’s free will to stop him from committing adultery and murdering a man…
You get the picture.
Is the problem with his character or with our understanding of protection? When I look into Jesus’ eyes, when I examine his life as an “exact representation” of God, I find complexity but not insincerity. He is interiorly true. And it leaves me mentally stretching to consider how his view of time as a whole, not in linear moments connected by the ticking of a clock, must somehow level my mountains and fill in my valleys.
I apologize for how abstract that must sound. His goodness is something I’ve wrestled with on many occasions. Each time I return to it through tears with greater confidence and greater brokenness. It’s a truth I can see mentally and can smell emotionally, but I can’t always taste it in the moment.