Mike Foster is the co-author of "Deadly Viper Character Assassins" and blogs at DeadlyViper.org.
You can follow his nuggets on leadership, life and grace at Twitter.com/mikefoster.
Why I Don't Believe in Christian Accountability, Part 1
I am deeply committed to all of us living a life of radical integrity and grace. Through Deadly Viper I get the chance to work with leaders on personal sustainability and living a life with no regrets. And though I champion the ideas of transparency, authenticity, and brutal honesty, I don't believe in Christian accountability.
The whole concept makes me cringe and I don't think I'm alone in this assessment. It's horribly broken, ineffective, and doing a lot of people a disservice. In many ways Christian accountability is facilitating a pathway to our lives being chopped up by character assassins.
So here are a few reasons why I don't believe in Christian accountability and why a new discussion needs to happen around maintaining our integrity.
1. Lack of Grace:
The primary reason Christian accountability doesn't work is because we are more interested in justice and fixing a problem. I've seen too many times great men and women get chewed up by this process. When we fail, what we need most is grace and a second chance, not a lecture.
We have all probably experienced or seen a harsh response to our struggles or failures. But there is a big problem when we respond with justice and not grace. You see human beings are wired up for self protection and survival. When we others being hurt, rejected, or punished for their sin, we correctly conclude that it is better to hide, conceal, and fake it in the future. It basically comes down to this: I don't want to get hurt, so I'm not telling. When we lack grace, accountability breaks down.
2. Bad Environments:
Let me be frank. If I were having an illicit affair with a woman I'm not going to confess it to 4 guys at a Denny's breakfast. And yet, too often Christian accountability is carried out in these types of environments. We meet in small groups in a weekly environment with a few of our friends. Ultimately there is a lid on how transparent these conversations can be and too often we believe that if we are meeting weekly then we are "accountable."
My best conversations about my brokenness and struggles have come in non typical environments. Places where I am completely relaxed, at ease, and feel removed from my daily life.
I have seen leaders every year go away for a week and meet with a coach or therapist and have this time be very effective. They dump a ton of junk; begin working strategies in their life, and start dealing with significant character issues. To be frank, I would rather have us have one week of brutal honesty then 52 weeks of semi honesty at Dennys.
My point is simple. Find an environment that is going to allow you to open up and examine your current process.
3. The Results:
Unfortunately, the results speak for themselves. If Christian accountability was a company it would need a serious bailout. It simply inadequate and the results are sub par at best.
The breaking down of our marriages, financial impropriety, ego maniac and narcissistic behavior, sexual misconduct, and the bending of every rule we come across are simply signs of a failed system. Last week I read a post from a pastor who had received emails from 33 other pastors who confessed to him of being involved in an affair.
4. We Game The System:
If I wanted to I could spend the next decade of my life convincing you how wonderful I am and how I have it all together. (Luckily, I have no desire to do that) It bothers me that I'm clever enough to package Mike Foster in such a way that I could make you all believe what a swell guy I am and how I have it all together.
The problem with Christian accountability is that you and I can game the system. I know how to beat it and if you stick around the church long enough you will figure it out too. And that's a problem. We're the alcoholic that knows where the hidden key to the liquor cabinet is.
Gaming the system is not hard. We know the right words. We know the right things to talk about. We know how to frame things up to effectively keep everyone off course on who we truly are. I can do it and so can you. And that's a big problem.
So that's why I'm not a fan of Christian accountability and truly believe it is busted. But please don't lose hope. In part two, I have something I want to offer up as a replacement to this flawed system of maintaining our integrity.
EMAIL THIS PAGE
PRINT
RSS
Comments
Great stuff, Mike. I really appreciate you blowing up the boxes around accountability. Ironically, I am wearing my Deadly Viper t-shirt to my meeting with my accountability partner in an hour. Except I'll be bringing a copy of this blog post!
As the narratives multiplied, the number of terrifying Men's Costumes for halloween evolved at the same time. Considering that a lot of people really enjoy fear, frightful movies are usually out within the Halloween night time in order to stimulate far more reactions of terror in people. Grown people and mens halloween costume young children love getting outfitted up as Freddy Krueger simply because he is known as a old classic, distressing villain. The face mask invokes thoughts from the movie, which makes it one of the most chilling Hallow's eve Outfits.
I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenter here! It's always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I'm sure you had fun writing this article.
Online Personal loans
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on Christian accountability. It seems to me that its the system of christian accountability that is broken. Like you said we need to get to a place where we can be accountable not put a new label on where to meet with our friends for breakfast! In order to be accountable we need to be serious in our faith. And that has to be initiated by God and then responded to by us. You can always spot the serious ones. When things get dicey in life they continue to love like the king of the universe. Thanks Michael Minnon
Talking about religion is always a sensitive touch for human mind. But I like the way you express your comment with example and giving the priority to Christian Accountability.
Regards
Austin Computer Repair
Clearly Mr. Foster does not grasp the concept of Christian accountability. On the path toward spiritual maturity, Christian accountability is about prevention. It is a proactive effort to keep oneself on the Christian path; to keep ones life unsullied and sinless (or sin less). On the positive, it is an effort to keep ones commitment to achieving spiritual maturity and faithfulness in ministry.
faire du sport sd herkules baumarkt dh automotivejackua shg conseiller en informatique
Christian religion is something that have value for lot of people.
cheap shoes
men shoes
It is always good a person to have commitment to something. And be passionate and talking about it Acer Iconia Tab A501 .
Wow. If this has been your experience, something really must be broken.
I've never been involved the kinds of relationships you describe here. Instead, my knowledge of accountability comes addiction recovery. I'm not sure what was happening upstairs, but I've spent more than a decade sitting in church basements (and at diners) both sharing and hearing others share with abandon hair-raising stories about infidelity, child abuse, drinking the mortgage payment, taking the kids to buy drugs and a host of other things that, to steal a line from my recovery program, we "share like our lives depend on it." We also listen as our sponsors and others relentlessly comment and call us to the carpet - sometimes in private, and other times in a room full of friends and strangers - some gentle souls and some hard core critics. And then we watch as people make amends to one another and those they've harmed and show love and forgiveness as healing happens.
Why endure this? For one simple reason. Our lives, in fact, do depend on it. The recovering addict has come to accept that they are broken, that there is no room for ego and worrying about what people think, and that we suffer from a physical, emotional and mental malady for which there is but one solution - God.
Sounds like the Christian accountability system could learn a lot from the recovering drunks and drug addicts -many not Christian - meeting in their churches week after week.
@joan one of the greatest examples of how it should be is in a recovery meeting. btw one of my fav places is a celebrate recovery meeting cuz it certainly doesn't look like the typical xtian accountability.
Hi Mike: Here's the interesting thing. I was in recovery for seven years learning to turn my will and my life over to God as I understood him and relying on a "power greater than myself" to "restore me" before I had a rather dramatic and (I have come to learn, unusual) conversion to Christianity in my late 30s. Reading the Bible for the first time, I was amazed to find that the 12-step framework is a working guideline for the transformation of life described there. Your description of "Christian accountability" is a not only sad for the people participating in these pseudo-relationships, it is part of what makes many people outside the church - many of whom are in significantly more genuine relationships with one another than the ones you describe - view "the church" as less than it claims to be. I guess that's why we need to keep talking about it/working on it. I look forward to reading your follow up post.
Superdry UK - Buy high-class superdry clothing from Superdry UK stylish fashion brand. Wearing Superdry clothing can be successful grabbing attention of crowd.
Interesting post, Mike. My husband and I not only left our church - we fled - after we were betrayed by numerous people in it who touted "accountability" at every turn. We trusted in them, and we loved them. We did business with them - and they stole from us. But beyond the money and the resources lost, they stole a piece of our faith. We realize now that we once placed "Christians" on a high pedestal - especially those in leadership positions (including elders, ministry leaders, thought leaders, the "doers"). But when we discovered the truth of their duplicity, they didn't fall - we did. We were outcasts, after calling them out on their sin.
And there they are, at every service, hands raised, eyes closed, singing loudest in the front row; they justify their deceit in that they are "saved" through their belief in Jesus Christ. They believe that God's grace and mercy has redeemed them, despite their closeted flaws and ugliness. It's as if they've received a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, and use it at will, to serve their own purposes. It devastates me. It confuses me. It keeps me from the "organized" church. I need something real - not just a light and music show on Sunday, or a Tuesday morning Denny's breakfast.
After their betrayal, where was the apology? Where were their tears? We cried a river; they never even handed us a Kleenex. We never received their confession. We never received the acknowledgment of accountability - there were no attempt to make amends or make things "right". They distanced themselves from us in order to avoid seeing the outcome of their own sins. Out of sight, out of mind.
Interestingly, they excused themselves from fault (from accountability) by putting "spiritual" responsibility back on our shoulders: that our business endeavors failed because we weren't "strong enough Christians". We were criticized for not starting our business meetings in prayer. We didn't ask God for permission before every business decision. We didn't declare our company a "Christian" organization. They claimed that our decision to be "mainstream"; to reach the unchurched; was the reason we failed. This, according to the "highly-accountable" believers who were pilfering our resources a day at a time. They told us we failed because we didn't PROCLAIM our faith. Were we not instructed by Christ to reach out to those who did not believe? To spread the word through our good works? We didn't need to "be Christians" to further the Kingdom. We needed to "be Christ-like" to bring people closer to Him, closer to living a life that would be pleasing to God.
Accountability doesn't mean calling out from the mountaintop, confessing my Christianity to set an example for an adoring audience. Accountability means that those who you call to in His name, you are true to. To those whom you "convert", you are unyielding in your honesty and rawness about your shortcomings. Accountability means that you wouldn't dream of trampling another man's dream, purpose, or gifts to further your own. Accountability is not taking for granted that while God may forgive us of our sins, the pain you cause others in living those sins may cause irreparable harm. Accountability is how you live your life for God, without an audience or accompanying praise music - when nobody else is looking.
Despite the pain our family has experienced, it has brought us closer to God. Closer to who we are meant to become in this life. Closer to the church that I carry in my own heart. I no longer attend services on Sunday - I AM the church. The church is in me, around me, it follows me. I am accountable to God because I only live to please Him, not the people in the second row. I am accountable to God because He knows the workings of my heart. I cannot hide from Him; I cannot avoid interacting with Him, regardless of my shortcomings. You can't avoid eye contact with God. You can't avoid His disappointment. When I let Him down, I feel it with every fiber of my being. And THAT is the Fear of God. Respect. Unquestioning, unyielding respect. That is my accountability.
I now put MYSELF on my pedestals - nobody else. In fact, my expectations of other people are now quite low. As a result of my high spiritual perch, when I fall, I know it will hurt, and I know that nobody will be more disappointed than Him. And nobody else really needs to be involved.
I don't have the words to speak as eloquently as all of you...but I can say one thing...and that is I have learned more about myself and why I kept making the same mistakes over and over and over...in the last 2+ months in Celebrate Recovery and the the Step Study class I have embarked upon. And that is after not receiving grace from multiple "Christians"during the course of the past year, and myself being a new Christ Follower. What gives me peace is that I... and they will one day answer to that Higher Power, and He will know our hearts. And right now Casting Crowns "On the Bottom of the Ocean Floor" just came on SOS!! God speaks!!!!
Jacqueline: Thank you so much for sharing. First, good for you that you have identified an ongoing problem in your life and decided to take steps to change. I commend you for taking a step that many cannot. As for recovery versus Christianity, I can almost guarantee that people in BOTH circles will likely fail/disappoint/frustrate you at some juncture. Part of that is because humans are human. And part of it, I believe, is that God helps us to identify and work out our shortcomings by putting us into contact with people and situations that challenge us, and in those challenges we are motivating us to change.
I have seen people leave churches AND recovery programs because of difficult people, harsh personalities and administrative disagreements. But we are taught - in faith and in recovery - that resentments will kill us and finding a healthy way to make amends and forgive, is paramount. The beauty of the Christian faith is that it takes this call to make amends and cast out resentments to another level altogether, stretching us to actually learn to love both our friends and our enemies. The sacrifice and humility required to do that will be a lifelong endeavor. A journey I am grateful to be on. I wish you the very best.
Joan
Thanks Joan! I had step study tonight, and it was incredible as always!! And to think a year ago when i became a Christ-follower (not merely a Sunday Church goer, which now i totally understand BIG difference), i did'nt think i needed any help with anything!! Now i understand i increasingly need for self-help and improvement through Christ! In fact i have learned more about myself in the last 2 months by answering those tough questions in the book, as well as from hearing my sister's responses! Wouldn't trade this juncture in my journey for anything! Well almost anything..Lol!!
Peace and Blessings,
Jacqueline
Kelley:
Thank you for this post. It echos my experience with "Christian accountability," and my current feelings, exactly. It's taken me months to try to recover from a group that touted itself as being uber-spiritual, and as a new Christian I believed what they said explicitly. Everyone played the part so well (hands raised, eyes closed), but when I stood up because I didn't agree with some very obvious flaws in theology and character, I was Jezebel, I was "clothed in a spirit of assassination." Ridiculous! But I didn't know better than to shrug it off at the time.
The term "accountability" was so skewed that I have trouble with it even now. I feel more and more that I need to be held accountable to God, and Him alone. And you're right, THAT is fear of the Lord. My faith has also increased, and I have a newfound sense of trust and confidence in Him, but the road was long and marked with disappointment. I've also learned that we're all simply human. Being Christian doesn't mean you've attained some new level of "holy."
Thanks for your transparency.
Bryna - Interesting experience. Yes - I am Jezebel too. We're such boat rockers, aren't we? ; )
Well, I'd rather rock the boat than stay silent and eat poop - even if it is coated in sugary Godness.
And of course, looking within to explore how I can improve myself is key. I am so far from my true potential; but I know that I won't reach that potential unless I am "unflinchingly" honest when it comes to God's expectations of us.
Thanks for sharing! K
Dude mike when is part 2 coming out???
next week :)
This is not christian accountability...this is just ACOUNTABILITY.
www.x3watch.com
brandon.
I don't agree with the first three points. You are still dealing with people. Broken people who sin. As in church, life, whatever, if the people fail, so will the system supporting those people. I belong to an accountability group that does these first three points pretty darn well. It may be rare, but probably not as rare as you think.
#4 scares me. why? because I've used it. It's easier to use the Christian F-word (FINE, courtesy of Jon Acuff) than open up sometimes.
Well here's the thing.... True Love for a brother or sister is GRACE and ACCOUNTABILITY balanced....
Grace with out Accountability is Tolerance
and
Accountability without Grace is Legalism... ... Read More
I know that it is a hard thing to master but it is what we are called to do!
I have had to hold tight to a few verses
MATTHEW18:15-19
James 5:16
and a sermon I heard not long ago... one of my old Pastors made a great point that some of the most critical christians are the ones that have some sin issues in their lives and so they try to mask it by pointing out the faults in someone elses... Calling them out all the time... Matthew 7:1-6 and Luke 6:37-41 both say the same thing about judging eachother... We are called to accounability but we are also called to give grace as well... as believers we need to keep eachother in check but in love...
P.S. The sermon can be found at www.vineonline.org ... Read More
it is titled The Vine: Apr.26.09- Walking in Love: Pastor Phil Allen "Love balance of grace and accountability"
Looking forward to Part 2. While accountability is broken, it is better than nothing, although I think you mightdisagree. I am glad those thirty-+ pastors at least confessed to someone - but you are right - it needs fixing!
I agree. For me, accountability has never meant - a formal time to accept the judgement of "character assassins". The root of Christian accountability is the very thing Mike Foster seeks to champion, in authenticity, transparency and brutal honesty, and while i did enjoy reading this entry, I'm left with a sense of Mike's own self protection, and reaction to pain. Accountability really does need to be authentic, but I don't think it is possible to completely escape the ways we can get hurt through the judgement of other Christians. There is no completely safe path to tread, and so very many of our attempts to be create an authentic Christian culture can, at any point, backfire if the world the flesh or indeed the Devil, get a chance to muddy the water. Church institutions can be rightly criticised in many ways - but there is something of their fixed-ness that makes sense to me. It doesn't matter if we get it right or wrong - the need for them will always be there - weather that is an "institution" of sacrament, community or accountability.
well, that is your prerogative and that's your choice why you don't like christian. PMP
Clearly Mr. Foster does not grasp the concept of Christian accountability. On the path toward spiritual maturity, Christian accountability is about prevention. It is a proactive effort to keep oneself on the Christian path; to keep ones life unsullied and sinless (or sin less). On the positive, it is an effort to keep ones commitment to achieving spiritual maturity and faithfulness in ministry.
well, I know that this is going to do something like this in the future and I want to do something that it's going to be so fine. weight loss programs
I could not agree more, plus there is no biblical support for this "new fad!"
Martin Selbrede does a more thorough job explaining how unbiblical Christian "accountability" is in this recent article.
http://www.chalcedon.edu/articles/article.php?ArticleID=2931
yeah of course. I think this one is really into something and i can't do it right. 3d rendering
The main reason accountability fails is because is cannot bring about transformation. In most cases it even fails to restrain. This is just another way for our performance-based churches to encourage pride among those who do well and shame on those who do not, which in turn encourages secrecy and walls between people, despite all appearances to the contrary.
When the Evangelical church finally figures out that it does not know how to help people grow up, and learns what it means to engage with God for change, then "accountability" will be seen for what it really is ---- works righteousness.
What about James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Just because something may sometimes not be perfect, that doesn't mean it has no value or that we should just give up. If that were the case, we would have no preaching, no prayer, no helping others out, nor anything else. I think a lot of it depends on the definition and the motive behind "accountability". Sometimes knowing that you have a group that you will be talking with, is enough to motivate you to do better.
I do feel bad for those whose trust has been abused in these situations, and I have felt it as well, though perhaps not to that degree. But prayer and perseverance are the key. We cannot always be strong on our own -- we need the ongoing support of others.
1) If you're REAL with each other, it's not about fixing each other's problems. It's about talking over what spiritual battles are going down in your lives. If you're REAL with each other, it's about praying genuinely that God will put His hand into our lives and help teach us, whether we overcome our struggles or not. By being Christians, we become more holy the more we aspire to know and be like God. He will not help us acheive justice without teaching us how to. When you pray for patience, He doesn't merely give it to you. He puts you in situations that teaches you how to be patient. And so what if you fail, you are human, he knows that, and people know that.
2) First of all, why would you be stupid enough to talk in a public place about accountability. It's not a show. It's a way of bettering your life, to please God. You're not trying to show off in front of non-Christians at Denny's, so why go there to talk about such personal things? If people were genuine, then they would not do this. And also, once again, we're human. We mess up. The truth NEEDS to come out. God is love, and we ought to love like He does. If people have a problem with your publicly confessing your screw ups, then it's their problem. God will be proud of you for being strong enough to do so.
3) The "results" are up to God. This is something between you and God, and there's just another person to help. To relay God's word. To say things that we've not thought of. The "results" don't have to be good OR bad, they're God's plan.
4) If you're simply telling your partner how great you are, then you're not real. You're selfish. Accountability is not to beef up how great one is. Accountability is to be real with each other, to be real before God. To admit your faults. If you're using accountability to spread rumors around the Church that you're a "perfect christian," then you're full of it. You and God need a long chat.
I don't mean to bash you. I completely understand everything you're saying. I only think that you are writing to Christians who are on a selfish level. Who don't care about God as much as they care about themselves. We're faulty. I'm faulty. I'm broken, and hide my pains with how great I look on the outside. But does God commend that?? No He doesn't. He commends truth. And accountability is not for show. Accountability is something to remind us that our lives need to be real and genuine. Without it, I would hide my sin, my shame, my pains and I would never fix them.
Yes I am embarassed sometimes to tell my accountability partner that I've wronged people, that I've hurt God, but without telling her, it eats me up.
Jesus didn't hang out by himself all day long. He had people with him. Why have people with you if you can't be real with them?
It seems like what you are saying is not that christian accountability is bad but the system in which it has been operated through is broken.
Mike
This is a great thought. However, it seems to me to be more of a broken form of Accountability or an individual behavior than a drawback to accountability itself. Thanks for the post
Mike,
I couldn't disagree w/ you more. You are proposing that "Christian accountability" doesn't work but the example that you give is that of a bunch of guys getting together at Denny's for breakfast and accountability. In essence what you're saying is that that particular model doesn't work. That however, doesn't mean that the concept of accountability between Christian brothers or sisters can't work. If people have been hurt by being open and honest with other "Christians" it is because they were open and honest with the wrong people. I believe that true accountability with a Christian brother or sister is possible but it requires maturity, commitment and most importantly true followers of Jesus as opposed to a "Christians".
Great comment, Irg. I couldn't agree with you more. Just because someone shouts and lifts their hands at church doesn't mean they are concerned with the things that concern God. I'm so sorry that many of you have been hurt by nosiness masked as "accountability". Take that hurt to God. Let Him mend you. Let go of bitterness, resentment, and unforegiveness. Ask God for wisdom when you go through trials and tribulations. He will not resent your asking. Use your experiences to provide the type of accountability you wanted/needed to someone else. Now, you have the tools to be a loving resources to those that may need you.
The post is very nicely written and it contains many useful facts. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement. Thanks for sharing with us.
-steel supplier
Couldn't agree more!!!
I have to say, for trying to deal with a Christian issue you sure managed to avoid using the Bible as much as you possibly could.
It's amazing to see someone getting it this wrong, since it makes me all the more certain that being accountable to other Christians is precisely what we are called to do in the Bible.
What you have done in the above article is explain step by step what Christian accountability should NOT look like. Now, let's take the Bible and see what it has to say about how accountability SHOULD look like.
@ 1:
Please see Matthew 7:1-2
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
If the person you discuss your failings with starts being judgemental, then they are simply not following the Bible. This is not proving in any way/shape/form that accountability as such is wrong, but that your partner is not following the Biblical teachings. Note: multiple other parts of the Scripture tell us not to be judgemental.
Galatians 6:1-2 "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently."
It does not mention anything about judging the other person or reacting violently. The failing is with the Christian who does not follow the Bible when judging someone who is accountable to them, not with the idea of being accountable to one another.
@2:
It's quite obvious that not every environment is made for sharing your sins with other Christians. That is why the time of "being accountable" should be separate form other "fellowship" activities.
Needless to say, that you're missing out on the huge encouragement that accountability brings. If it's done in a caring and loving way, then it's one of the best methods of encouraging one another and actually finding out what your brothers may be struggling with and letting them help you with your struggles.
We are called to love one another (example - 1 John 4:21 "And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.") and support one another (example - Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." or 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "…encourage one another and build each other up…").
@3:
How on earth can ANY logical person try and say that affairs of 33 pastors have ANYTHING to do with how accountability works?
First and foremost God holds us accountable for our sins (example - Romans 14:12 "So then each of us shall give account of himself to God."). If we share our sins with other Christians, it's to get support form them, not to get forgiveness. No matter how amazing the Christian community is around me, I may still choose to continue sinning. I may even choose to lie to the person I'm accountable to. Does that mean that the idea of accountability is wrong? No, of course not.
Let me provide you with an example, since you're making a terrible mistake of mixing up correlation and causation.
Your argument:
"33 pastors who were accountable to other Christians were having an affair therefore accountability does not work."
My example:
"33 pastors who went to church/prayed/were Christians were having an affair therefore going to church/prayer/being a Christian does not work."
See the fallacy in your reasoning?
Our sinful nature causes us to commit sin. Accountability is meant to help us with battling against sin, but we KNOW that we will fail again, and again, and again... That's what the Bible tells us. We sin every single day, but that does not mean we want to do it, or that we don't need help to sin less. Accountability should support us in becoming more Christ-like though good advice of mature Christians - it for SURE will not eliminate my sin. You were born a sinner and you'll die a sinner.
1 John 1:8
"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."
@4:
Once again, I can not believe how more flawed your reasoning can get.
Do you start off assuming that every Christian lies while he's meant to share his failings with another Christian?
To take it further - we all know how taxes work. We all have "played the game" for a long time. Most Christians could easily try and cheat in their tax statements. If a Christian gets caught committing a sin when trying to cheat in his tax statement, does that mean the fault is with the tax system...? Or maybe with the Christian, who is not following the teachings of the Bible?
OVERALL:
Your arguments assume failings in both the person who is meant to be accountable, and the person who is meant to be supportive. Displaying a complete lack of knowledge of the Scripture, you claim "Christian accountability" to fail using examples that could be used to 'prove' that, for example, Prayer fails.
I believe you have never truly grasped what accountability is and how it should be used in Christian ministry.
Mike and Joan - Thank you so much for these postings. I have been struggling for five years with fallout from 'accountability' at my church, and agree that there is a huge and hypocritical gap between what the Bible says church discipline is and 'accountability' as it is haphazardly practiced today. And I also see almost no postings like yours, which confront the problem Biblically, without ranting. It's been a lonely five years in that regard.
I'm pretty sure the catalyst in my own accountability case was a simple personality conflict to start with, but I'll never know for sure since I was also told that the details of what I was being held 'accountable' for were not going to be discussed with me; I was simply accused of having a freefloating "character defect". (Biblical discipline is for confronting a known, defined sin and addessing it, by the way, and does not, as it turns out, permit one member to go after another member over personality clashes.) If I wasn't feeling so devastated by what happened (I was removed from meaningful service over these issues), perhaps I would have been more on my spiritual toes and reminded the pastors of what Biblical correction is/does, but I was too shocked and hurt. It's a great argument for memorizing scripture and 'always having an answer for your faith'. I'm not looking for perfection in church leaders, by the way, just honesty in admitting that they're as capable as anyone else of making a bad call based on pride or ego, and outing themselves when they fail, just as they expected us to.
Ideally, accountability is a critical component of the faith walk, but Mike, you're right. If the emperor has no clothes, if the leaders are not operating from humility and transparency about their own failures and struggles to guard against pride, the result is that you have people 'gaming the system' (love that term) who, of course, then somehow permit themselves to deal with others from a position of untouchable superiority rather than as fellow sinners. I am a lifelong Christian with a very solid Biblical foundation, and this sort of pharasaism (sp?) nearly broke me emotionally and spiritually all the same. I did not expect this level of duplicity from my own pastors. What's more, I discovered most of the other church leaders were so uncomfortable dealing with this that they preferred me to drop it rather than have to confront it. No one seemed to think this was alarming, or that it required resolution. Accountability, as mandated Biblically, was not something these folks were comfortable with. The most common response was that, since these were leaders (and therefore not mere mortals?), questioning their actions or authority was somehow almost blasphemous, and should only be done under the most dire circumstances. Which put me in the position of being truly and forever defective if I didn't stop bringing up scriptures that put these guys' actions in an unfavorable light. I think this is what Mike was talking about... the reality of accountability today as opposed to the Biblical mandate.
Imperfect people make up the church, and truth be told, we're all hypocrites for not scrupulously following our own beliefs all the time without fail (it's called sin :-), but I think Mike's right to say that true accountability is a dead issue if the ground is not level at the foot of the cross in the first place. Otherwise, church can become another 'Animal Farm' with 'some animals being more equal than others'.
I still go to this church, still struggle with the disconnect between public personas and private agendas, and am still banned from participating in any mission activities through the church, but I feel called to stay and witness. Plus, regardless of how badly I was treated, Jesus had it worse and handled it better. In fact, one of the only times I ever really felt God speaking to me was when I was crying out over this mess, wanting vindication, wanting closure, wanting to 'prove' myself not-defective. I expected to hear words of comfort, words of encouragement. Instead, God told me to 'cowboy up'! So I'm trying.
LET GOD BE TRUE AND EVERY MAN A LIAR!
Sounds like a personal point of view in life but not a Biblical point of view. Great ideas makes me think if I have been too harsh to my fellow Christian. Unfortunately, I just can buy this idea. Perhaps we should all show more grace within each other. That I get!
I stumbled onto your website because I wanted to write something about Christian Accountability. This was a nice find...something to thing about.
I hope people don't take a lazy approach to Christianity after reading your article.
Right on! I have totally opposed to the MAN MADE concept of accountability! It is not Biblical as practiced or proposed by many people today. If God leads you ONE or TWO persons you can trust and you need to discuss some personal issues, that's fine.
The main issue I have with accountability is that NO WHERE in scripture are we legitimately commanded to confess our sins to others! There is a verse about confessing your faults to each other (something like that) but I interpret that to mean if you have offended someone, go to that person and make it right - which I do believe is Biblical.
You CAN NOT get with a big group of people in the church you don't know well and confess your sins and expect to get any kind of love or support! It ain't gonna happen!
well written.
We are not obliged to say anything to anyone. It is our own free will to decide who we wish to tell certain things to.
I am in a church where, if you sin, they randomly pick some guy who you probably wont trust as much as other friends in church and they expect you to whole heartedly pour your freaking life on them. HorseSHIT! I seriously disagree and I won't reveal anything to my accountability partner. NO WAY!
The whole idea of accountability is just trash. We are accountable to NO one but ourselves.
it is excellent what you said... they should follow your advice. Maryland Records
Please see Matthew 7:1-2
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
If the person you discuss your failings with starts being judgemental, then they are simply not following the Bible. This is not proving in any way/shape/form that accountability as such is wrong, but that your partner is not following the Biblical teachings. Note: multiple other parts of the Scripture tell us not to be judgemental.
Galatians 6:1-2 "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently."
It does not mention anything about judging the other person or reacting violently. The failing is with the Christian who does not follow the Bible when judging someone who is accountable to them, not with the idea of being accountable to one another.
@2:
It's quite obvious that not every environment is made for sharing your sins with other Christians. That is why the time of "being accountable" should be separate form other "fellowship" activities.
Needless to say, that you're missing out on the huge encouragement that accountability brings. If it's done in a caring and loving way, then it's one of the best methods of encouraging one another and actually finding out what your brothers may be struggling with and letting them help you with your struggles.
We are called to love one another (example - 1 John 4:21 "And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.") and support one another (example - Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." or 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "…encourage one another and build each other up…").
Mike,
You address great flaws and points, but I don't think you nail the problem. It is not with Christian accountability itself - but maybe with the understanding of True Church and Community?
Accountability is just a nice word for getting deep and being harsh at times with brothers and sisters in Christ. Wanting it in your life and in your brother's life is because you desire for yourself and for your brothers to grow closer to God. Me being accountable through email, texting, face-to-face, calling, ect. is extremely important in our church community - This is possibly why most Church communities are dying, and mis-representing Our True King and Father.
I agree that it can become a system, but it is not the system itself that is the problem, it is true discipleship amongst each other. Through that, the understanding of how we should act in our community of believers and the world start reflecting God. When we are fully committed to Christ we will confess our sins and WANT to not be in sin, or put ourselves in a position of not committing that sin over and over again - This is were accountability is and has been important in my life. When I tell my brothers in Christ my struggles that I have confessed to Christ and they can pray and help come along side me through these struggles and make sure I am not falling back into temptation. These accountability groups don't work when brothers hide their sin and are not vulnerable, but they are only fooling and hurting the church.
If you can't be truly honest with close brothers throughout the week and be vulnerable with them, then you have to ask the two questions - one: Are you being honest with Christ and confessing your sins to him (which if you are not, there are plenty of warning signs in the Bible that would make you tremble) - two: Are you being vulnerable to the World around you like Christ was, and calls us to do, to show Him, to be broken, to shine his light through all struggles and hardships (being vulnerable and honest in a group of 3 or 4 dudes is easier than being honest in a World that will ridicule you over and over again).
Hope this makes sense
Again good points / wrong phrasing.
It starts with the Believer (or so-called Believer), and their heart towards Christ not with the idea of accountability. - Does that sound harsh, yes it can, but only if we don't want to change into what Christ wants us to be - (Read Matthew, Corinthians and look at how straight forward Christ and Paul are about fully submitting to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and what happens when we don't and continue in the same sin over and over again.)
Easily, the post is really the sweetest on this worthwhile topic. I fit in with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your approaching updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the exceptional clarity in your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates.
-budget motor insurance
The issue for Christians (and 12 Step Group members, and all of humanity, really) is actually not about our willingness & ability to hold ourselves accountable to one another, or not; but about WHO we are all ultimately accountable to. A thousand years from now it's not gong to make one whit's bit of difference whether you or I or anybody else 'called our Sponsor' every time we ran into some challenging situation; but each one of us, like it or not, is One Day going to have to stand before Almighty God Himself & give an accounting for our lives. There, in the blinding brilliance of His Holiness & Judgement, we're each going to suddenly know what REAL 'accountability' is all about! Having been 'in recovery' now for some 25 years, & after having also been a born again bible believing Christian for 10 years longer than that, I have just recently started to realize the full & awesome measure and responsibility of what true accountability is. And my friends, you better believe it, it goes faaaar beyond anything you ever discussed at Dennys or heard shared 'around the tables.' Be ready my friends, both in season & out of season; for the Master is coming at a time that is least expected; that will be the true moment of your accountability!