I grew up before women in ministry were a popular trend. I'm not sure it's taken off quite yet, but it is more "in" now than it was 15 years ago. Sure the pastors' wives were around a bit. I even had coffee with them on occasion, but in terms of teaching, I was not formally taught by women in the church. When I left for college, other than my mother, I did not have a strong feminine mentoring presence in my life.

Halfway through college I discovered Anne Lamott. For maybe the first time in my life I learned what honesty was in the form of her short anecdotal stories. She was humorous, crass, vulnerable, and real. I gobbled up every book of hers on the market and over the past five years have been to every venue she has spoken at in Los Angeles County. 

A few years ago, I was walking in Barnes and Noble when I walked by an unpretentious stand with someone's new book on it.  The cover was intriguing, but mostly what caught my eye was Anne's endorsement of it. It was called Eat, Pray, Love. I trusted Anne as a writer so I bought it. No one knew about this random paperback book with prayer beads on it. It was during my own time of inventing perfectionist rehab, so anything contemplative and written by a woman, I was devouring vivaciously. Kathleen Norris, Lauren Winner, Lilian Barger, Sue Monk Kidd, Renita Weems all became my private collection of friends. 

It was long before Gilbert's book was translated into 30 languages and Oprah gave her the stamp of approval.  It was at least a year or two before Time Magazine named her one of their most influential people. But in those couple of years, something caught like wildfire. Everywhere I went a woman had her book in hand. On vacation, on the bus, in coffee shops, at my friends' houses... there were those prayer beads staring up at me and all of us talking about how badly we wanted to go to Italy. Gilbert handled the fame with humility. On her website she addressed frantic readers who wanted to divorce their husbands and travel the world.  She told them that was her story and not one to be duplicated, but shared. Even though she handled her newfound glory with grace, she still became a household name. 

I had the honor of hearing Gilbert and Lamott speak at UCLA during the time of my reconstruction process. I was on the edge of my seat listening and learning. If I could write my college entry essay over again I would have dinner with these women and Hildegard von Bingen, Sue Monk Kidd, the old prophetess at the temple waiting for Jesus -- women who knew their voices and could stand in the truth of their own stories.

The trouble comes when we see these women and think, "I want what they have." In a season of new year's resolutions that is an easy comparison to come by. But it's not about wanting what they have; it's learning to tell the truth about ourselves. That's what I see in these women. 

The hard part for me is that women who are successful Christian writers in the most traditional sense of the word have not had examples of how to do this. I am indebted to Gilbert and Lamott for their writing styles, but not their theologies. It is then so easy to walk this weird line of loving them and wanting what they have, "but not really," I hear my friends say when we dive into traveling by yourself post-divorce or dealing with an alcoholic family and being a single mother. What is there to envy?

Committed, Gilbert's new book is still drying from the printing press and people are clamouring for a $30 copy all over the country. I was too -- it's in my living room right now with a ticket to a book signing in two weeks. I love that she has given herself permission to be herself. I wish I was given that permission earlier in my adolescence. So I stalk these women now because I'm drawn to their openness, honesty, and vulnerability. They don't write about fairytales -- they tell the truth and our culture is starving for it.

The absence of females in church leadership has changed quite a bit in the past 10 years. But being in a recession is scary because it makes people cling to old fashioned values too. Don't get me wrong, some are fabulous, like farming and family dinners, but hopefully women will not retreat back solely to the kitchen in this time of uncertainty.

We need more women to own their stories and the authentic versions of who they are. It's too easy for Elizabeth Gilbert to have the entire corner of that market. I am going to add my own personal attempt this year by releasing my first book. It is a risk of sorts, but I have a story and I am going to tell it. I hope it will encourage more women to do the same because we need strong women now more than ever.