Well, if there's a subject that's not dealt with very well in the church today, it's homosexuality.  But the fact is we ought to be paying much more attention to this.  In fact, many of you reading this right now are struggling with this.  This is why I'm writing specifically to you.

No doubt you're a bit confused about what to do with this, frustrated with every aspect of this issue, frightened of being rejected by those you love and maybe even angry with God because of all this.  There are times in which you wonder if it would just be easier to give in to the struggle.  Maybe you've dabbled in a relationship, maybe you've fully engaged in the lifestyle...or maybe you're seriously considering doing either.  Or, maybe you haven't engaged in a physical way with another person, but you consistently engage online with conversation and even porn sites.

Possibly, you're wondering how in the world you can continue living in Christian community with this going on in your life. Instead of feeling safe in Christian community, you feel like an outcast.  Nobody gets you, or understands what's really going on in the depths of your heart.  You don't feel free to share for obvious cultural reasons, plus you sit there while your friends or even spiritual leaders make gay jokes right in front of you.  Your deepest desire is to let them into your life, but this makes them everything but safe.  You long to scream it out, but are finding it necessary to live in silence.

You desperately want to come out of the closet, but are at the same time afraid of falling out of it. 

Maybe this has caused so much internal confusion for you that you wonder if you even know the person that looks outside of your eyes.  Identity crisis is an understatement.   

Quite possibly you've cried out to God thousands of times asking Him to take away this struggle.  You might even be wondering why He would even allow you to struggle with this in the first place, and are even angry that He won't just take it away.  If this is a sin, then why wouldn't He want to free you from it?  You can't understand how this could possibly be beneficial for anyone.

Maybe you have a desire to be married one day and have a somewhat normal family life.  But deep inside you've lost hope, not seeing any way in which you could get to that point.  Even though it's your worst nightmare, you actually wonder if a life of celibacy will be your lot in life.  You dream about waking up in the morning and somehow overnight you were completely freed from this.  

Well, if you can relate to anything I've said so far, I'd like to say a few things:

I wish the church was a safer place for you.  In my opinion you should be saying, "I don't know how I could make it through this without other Christians in my life to support me."  I know this is what I desire for the people in my church!  Chances are however you can't say that.  For that I apologize on behalf of all believers.  I can tell you this though, if you have no one else to talk to you can send me a message directly through conversant.  At some point that won't be enough, but at least it's a start.  I'll walk with you as much as I can.

Please understand this is not a sexual issue.  At first that might seem inaccurate, but the truth is it's much deeper than a physical attraction.  The root of this issue can vary from person to person, but I'd ask you to seriously think through how envy might be playing into this for you.  Pray for God to show you how the envy of your heart is playing out in your life.  The truth is we all have envy in the depths of our hearts, it just happens to play out differently in our lives.  Life's circumstances help direct how this plays out, among a number of other things.  But I've found that envy plays a huge role in every individual I've walked with through this issue.

Realize that God's work in your life is bigger than this struggle.  I know this might sound trite in ways, but hear me out here.  God has promised to complete the work He's begun in you (Phil 1:6), and this is why you can hold onto hope.  God never promises to free us from sin here on earth and your sin struggle is no different than mine.  But the reality is God might be using this particular issue to teach you some deeper things of faith, that will ultimately lead you to freedom. 

I am praying for you.  In fact, at this point, I am going to sign off and pray right now.  I will pray for clarity in your mind and purity of heart - and I will pray the same for myself (I probably need it more than you!).  I will pray for God to provide someone who can come alongside you to build you up.  And, I am going to pray that you won't find your identity in this sin struggle, but rather in who you've been made to be in Christ.