The next time you find yourself in a smack-down of Shakespearean proportions, you may want to consult the Shakespeare Insult Kit. I promise you will find this resource inexhaustibly valuable. To my friend Roy, who directed me to it ... I can no other answer make, but thanks/ And thanks, and ever thanks.
I would blog something here about the way even a glance at Shakespearean vernacular highlights the diminished state of the English language in the 21st century, but I'd sound like a gleeking flat-mouthed clack-dish. And really, who wants that?