Fame, popularity, achieving distinction, celebrity status, being renown, having notoriety, attaining a high social status, and even just being known “well” all come with a high price. All place the person high up in an unattainable position and such ascribed status’ can bring danger to both the individual and the people around that person. When we place too much value on the “beyond humanness” of a person, we have taken that person from just being “like us” to something “other” and have, in effect, created an alien being which can quickly become unrecognizable to mortal humans. Fame tends to produce superiority and a “better than” ethos within the individual. Moreover, fame can make a person feel untouchable, indestructible, invincible, immortal, and above the law—what is worse is when society has reinforced those mantras. Now, couple all that with money and power and you have a recipe for calamity rooted in pride, maintaining social status, and continuing the ascribed power for that person. Is this what did Tiger in? Let us ponder that a bit more.

Now, I am not saying that fame is a bad thing. Do not hear me wrong. I’ve not met too many people that don’t like being “liked” by others. A lot of us want to be liked and have some type of social status that is in a positive light. Most of us in our own social groups and networks desire to be seen in an affirmative and esteemed role. Moreover, I know I like fame myself! I liked being liked. I like being known. And I love being recognized and treated with respect. Most people want that.

The problem comes with surfeit fame—too much and over the top. The problem with surfeit fame and popularity is that it tends to make us less human and more “out of this world”; this, in the end, disconnects us with the human narrative of life and places us in another realm of “specialness.” (You can read more about this as it relates to Kanye) I don’t think this was the smoking gun that did Tiger in. Tiger obviously has some issues when it comes to commitment. However, his fame, power, and money didn’t’ exactly “help” the situation. Especially now that we are seeing the extent of what was going on in Tiger’s life. Does this mean that poor people and unpopular people don’t cheat and step out on their partners? No, of course not. Infidelity knows no social, class, or racial bounds. Yet, fame places a card in the deck of social hierarchy that causes those who have been given surfeit fame to feel “more than” and “untouchable.”

This type of fame tends to make the persons feel immune to danger. Moreover, it blinds the person in seeing the “little dangers” coming—little dangers like, “You are such an amazing person” or “I just think you are the greatest ever…” coming from a female at a moment of, say, an argument with the wife. Little dangers that come in the form of hugs, glances, eye brow raising, subtle caressing, and text messages saying “I wish you were here” all add up to BIG DANGER, but the fame blinds the person into thinking “I got it, I’m cool…shoot, I’m me.” All these build up into a great fall, and then we wonder why men like Eliot Spitzer have affairs when things “seemed so right.” Alternatively, why did not one, but two men step out on someone like Halle Berry—how can that be? Cheating on Halle Berry? Yes. Yes, it is true. Fame does the same type of damage water can do—one glass of water splashed on your face, no problem, but 100 gallons and you could drown. A little stream of water, no problem, but over time its now carved out a whole canyon. The little things add up, and they typically come at times when we least expect them.

I’m pretty sure Tiger didn’t come into this thing thinking, “Yeah, I’m going to cheat on my wife with not just one, two, three, four, but many women over and over and over again.” The big danger doesn’t present itself as “big” initially, it always starts small. Most people are able to avoid BIG perils, but combine fame, power, money, and this “above the law” worldview, and all those little dangers begin to add up; throw in an argument, disagreement, and or conflict to the mix and the grass is greener syndrome kicks in with a side of ego—all that has to happen now is a person saying, “You look really good today” and things can be off and running. Before you know it, you’re on the news wondering how all this happened.

Fame is a tricky thing. In addition, for those of us who come from marginalized and powerless communities/ situations, fame can eat you up whole. It’s intoxicating. It’s stimulating. It’s enthralling. It’s exhilarating. And it’s also deadly. I struggle with this everyday. I like that fame. I like being known. I like having some power. It can blind me and it can hurt the best thing I’ve got going right now—my wife and little girl. A while ago, I remember talking to the daughter of a very famous speaker. She loved her dad and was proud of his achievements. But one thing she said has stuck with me ever since then. As we spoke, she told me that she wished her dad had spent half as much time with her as he did with all the people he had “ministered.” She also told me that while she really loved her dad, he barely knew her because of the schedule he kept.

That hits home.

I’m an author. I’m an international speaker. I’m a professor. I’m known. In addition, I am one-step away from my own daughter saying the same thing about me. Does that make that person a “bad person?” Of course not. Nevertheless, I want to see my little girl grow up and I want to engage with her narrative and life process. Moreover, I want to be an example to and for her of what a real man is. Fame tends to muddy things up…let’s see how this thing fairs out!