There was a shooting a block from my house less than 48 hours ago.  We heard the cracks from the gun in quick succession -- bang - bang - bang - bang - bang.  Five of them.  We wanted to believe they were fireworks.  However, the with the cop car shining a light in our front yard and a helicopter spotlighting our backyard, it clearly was not celebratory.

A 22-year-old young man lost his life.  It appears that 5 gang members killed him.  His girlfriend was shot in the foot and watched him die on the side of the street. It's the week before Christmas -- all is not calm; all is not bright.

Yesterday I was trying to find news reports about the shooting and began thinking about gang violence.  Our neighborhood is generally quiet and family oriented.  There was a random shooting over 2 years ago, but the police claimed to have done a sweep of the area and locked away all those wrong-doers.  It might take me another week to walk down the street in the evening, but I do believe and know that this is a safe neighborhood.  It will, though, take us coming out of our houses to unite in peace to overwhelm the kids with the guns.

The young men who fired were not by themselves.  They had each other.  They were (and probably still are) a pack.  They haven't been caught. Gangs divide communities, yes, but they also unite people with a binding force. It is a family, a brotherhood -- something to fight for. That is why the kids have guns.  Anyone who has read up on gang violence knows this.  There is a lot more going on than just "a crime." It's not a matter of locking them up, because who is there to pick them up when they get out?  The family. They are not alone.  

I find it odd these days that in our neighborhood and churches there are a lot of lonely people.  I don't agree with gangs, but why is it that to some extent they understand community better than a lot of Christians I know?  Before Jesus dies in Mark, he sends the disciples out in twos.  They were never alone. Why isn't community outside of a building or a lifegroup respected as much as in a sanctuary? Why does something have to be sanctioned by a church?  What happened to God's sanctioning? 

We go to church on Christmas eve to remind us what the season is about, but who needs the church to visit them this Christmas? Since when is church just a building? I'm struck by the weirdness that the only people who receive meals from the church are chemotherapy patients, new parents, and the homeless.  I get that they need help and this might sound harsh, but it's hard to see blood on the sidewalk next to the Christmas lights and wonder what went wrong.

The holiday season is filled with joy and wonder, but it's also the time of year with highest rate of suicide.  So for some this time is the darkest of the dark.  Family members left behind are greeted with a jolly man in a red suit to mark the departure of their loved one every year. It is a truly marked time of year -- some for happy; some for sad.  A shopping trip to Target will not cure that.  For some there is no death or sickness, but abuse and addiction to greet them at home.  A happy face hides a cruel reality.  

The days were dark when Jesus was born too. People came to see him in a stable. There were no carols or ornaments. There was no eggnog or mistletoe.  I've never been a fan of whipped up eggs, but I do love the smell of our Christmas tree.  Holiday festivities are great. But let's not stop looking for those who are hiding in the shadows of the star of Bethlehem.  We don't need to pull them out, rather just sit with them so they know they are not alone in this time.  

When families are trying to put their best foot forward in Christmas letters and on facebook, can we try to remember the things left out of the letters, the missing vulnerability?  The need to be happy and attend parties is overwhelming me this year as I come off of one of the hardest seasons of my life.  I don't want another bacon wrapped date, I want to process this year and there is no space to do that when the fire trucks are carrying Santa around town every night, throwing candy at people and telling me to have a "holly, jolly Christmas."  

 There is no room for the grinch, but what made the grinch who he is?  No one went up the mountain to be with him.  He might have just needed a shoulder to cry on or a meal brought to him after a tough day.  He might have just really felt like saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" and got cussed out as one of my friends experienced the other day, "It's Merry Christmas, you asshole."  

This is a sobering entry.  But this is my Christmas letter right now.  Take notice of the darker days of Christmas -- not just the twelve. Keep an eye out for those who are not leaping and dancing; those who have lost someone or need a friend to just sit with them.  

We were never meant to do Christmas alone.  We were never meant to be Christians alone.