So, I’m in church on Sunday, at Metro Hope in Harlem. Pastor Humphries is talking about relationships. To be honest, one of the best “sermons” I have ever experienced on the topic. I started thinking about Ticia, my bride of nearly twenty years. Somehow, as my brain randomly connects things, I also thought about Facebook and the “25 things about me” phenomena. To be honest, while I like reading others, I don’t really want to write one, probably for the same reasons as you.

I started thinking about a different kind of list. Not about me, but about my spouse. What if we started a “ten things I love about my spouse” phenomena? Not all gushy, not cheesy. Just ten things that you love about your spouse.

So, I started this on my Facebook page, tagged a bunch of my friends. Same Facebook rules apply. If I tagged a person, I encouraged them to write ten things about their spouse and then tag a few friends.

I don’t think you should make your spouse read it. I’m not trying to start a “Facebook love note” movement. The important part is recognizing that the ten things exist and sharing them with others. It took me about twenty minutes, and it really helped me be thankful for my wife.

FYI, here’s the ten things:

10 things I love about my spouse

1.       She was born in Mexico. I don’t know, I just feel cooler having a wife who was born in Mexico.

2.       She has an amazing singing voice. My two daughters could sing the complete version of “Fairest Lord Jesus” before they could spell because Ticia sang it to them every night. We all have beautiful memories of listening to Ticia sing. One of my favorite parts about going to church is listening to her sing.

3.       She cries easily. I know, I’m a guy so I think that every woman cries easily. Ticia can cry if a movie preview is sad. She cries over poignant commercials. She cries over homeless people and children in distress. I used to find this very confusing (“why are you crying???”) but now I find it to be beautiful. Though I was taught not to cry, Ticia has taught me to respond with grief, as I should.

4.       She is extremely intelligent. And she doesn’t care! She would be quite content to serve her family and people in her life, but God has given her a special gift. She is learning to walk in that gift as she does her graduate degree in Seminary.

5.       She talks during movies. A lot!

6.       She hardly ever snores.

7.       She can connect to just about anybody. When we lived in South Carolina the mail delivery lady would give her birthday presents. I have seen Ticia quickly connect with urban, rural, black, white, rich, poor, young, old, southern, northern, uptight, downright, repentant, arrogant people.

8.       She did not realize she was short until she was in college. It just never occurred to her, because she has always felt tall. I love that.

9.       She sees life as a grand adventure. We have lived in nine homes over twenty years of marriage. Every move was an exciting adventure, filled with new places, friends, place to see. Ticia has never complained about packing, unpacking, any of it. Big houses, small houses, it never mattered.  She was ready for the next adventure.

10.   She loves me. I mean, she really does. Those of you who really know me also know that it can’t be easy being married to me. But Ticia has always supported/forgiven/encouraged/held me accountable. She knows me deeply, as deeply as twenty years of living together can teach. Even knowing me deeply, with all the insanity, she loves me.