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Talking about Girls with my Son

Recently, my son and I were driving home from my office (actually I was driving and he doesn't work with me; I forgot my phone charger) and we began a conversation about girls. No, not that kind of conversation, hopefully we're several years from THAT conversation, but on this day, my son actually started asking me about the girl he was listening to.

"Daddy, I really like this song, who is it?" 

The song was by Regina Spektor and so he asked if I knew her, to which I replied, no--she's a Russian born singer, who came to the U.S. when she was a little bit older than you. This fascinated him, so I continued. She took piano lessons for a long time and God gave her this amazing voice and now lots of people listen to her. Do you want to take piano lessons?

"No, but can I listen to another song like this one?"

Immediately, I am both excited that my son digs my cd collection, but a bit frazzled as I am playing a compilation and it's the only Regina Spektor song I have on this cd. I don't even pause to be dismayed at his absolute disinterest in music lessons, which upon further reflection stings a bit. So, I click the track over to Ingrid Michaelson. What do you think of this?

"Daddy, this lady can really sing too. I didn't know you liked all these girls.Does mommy know you like these girls?"

Yes, mommy knows, but mommy doesn't care. Mommy only listens to modern worship music and is a walking version of the Hallmark Channel. I have played mommy all these girls and they never seem to register. Finally, someone in our family gets it. Ingrid Michaelson and Regina Spektor have these haunting voices and outside of trying to make a construction site in Manhattan sound more peaceful, they can do little wrong in terms of getting a lyric stuck in your head. Does mommy know about these girls? Ha! You are talking about these girls, right buddy? You are referring to the women in the cd player, right? I am now insecure, so I ask what he means.

"Yes. They sound pretty and mommy might like them," he says in a way that comforts me and excites me again. But, mommy doesn't like them. And I tell my son, that mommy doesn't like them. He is silent. So, I click over to the Smiths on the cd. He says nothing during the whole song. This happens a lot when our whole family is in the car and I play the Smiths. I am still not sure why this happens.

But when Sarah McLachlan comes on, he once again reiterates his support.

"Mommy should listen to this woman too; I like this song."

But, mommy doesn't like this one either. She likes Darlene what's her face and Hillsong and K-Love radio and a host of others I don't really listen to. And in my mind, I am wondering why there is such a thing as listener supported K-Love when I can hardly find the Smiths or R.E.M. or the Editors or Franz Ferdinand on the radio anywhere on planet earth. Satellite radio can't even pick up what I listen to. So, I think Sarah McLachlan and Ingrid Michaelson is pretty mainstream and again, those haunting voices. Even my son hears the beauty in those haunting voices, how can my own wife miss it! And it's at this point in my mind that I will refrain from going any further, because to explain fully why mommy listens to K-Love and why daddy is belting out "all these buildings and mountains...." by the Republic Tigers, will be approaching the fringe of THAT conversation and he's too young for that now. Besides, this is our bonding moment and for this one ride home, we're both smiling while Beth Orton finishes her chorus. Maybe there is such a thing as world peace.

-bo 

Comments

On a day when everything I read is trying to make a point, I found your post refreshing and, yes, point-less (which, when the prose hits me right, is the point indeed). Thanks.

thanks Caroline for the encouragement. your point is well received and made my day.

It is always a good thing to always talk with our children, to know and recognize their thoughts and feelings. Through constant conversation with them, we will create a strong relationship to them. - Marla Ahlgrimm

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About
As a University director of study abroad in Central Texas, ideas and stories matter. These reflections are for pilgrims making progress.


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