EMAIL THIS PAGE
PRINT
RSS
I had my first formal interview at four-years-old. My mother's passion was my education, so to ensure my success in the world, I needed to get into the right pre-school. I remember nothing of that day, but my mother recalls it fondly. "You only missed one question," she says with the same prideful glow she had over 20 years ago. That question was this: Where does meat come from? My answer? The grocery store. "Of course you would say that. You were four!" My mother still says vehemently in my defense. I love my mother dearly, but it's true, as witnessed by my answer, that my generation more than any other has no idea where our food comes from or the effort and patience (and guts) it takes to plant, grow, and care for your food before it gets to your kitchen.
 That was only the beginning. We knew we didn't want to pay the $100+ a month water bill to make sure the grass was green -- so we stopped. We watched the clover and Bermuda grass crusade forth from the ground with a vengence as we planned and mapped out our water-less yard. Eventually we designed a yard with paver stones and dugout trenches for more food. This weekend planting was in full effect. In our tore-up front yard, our neighbors curiously watched and inquired as we dug three grave-like trenches and filled them with good soil. We then planted snap peas, carrots, potatos, and onions along with borders of lettuce and cilantro. We were dirty, tired, and sore and our yard still resembles a cemetary to some extent. But, it's October so we have decorated appropriately for the season. Now we wait, and wait, and wait. We won't begin harvest until after Thanksgiving for most of those veggies (there's bok choy, broccoli, spinach, cabbage and beets in the backyard). Onions take six months to grow! Faith like a mustard seed has REALLY taken on a whole new meaning. Doing all of this has taken time, resources, and commitment -- commitment that we're not sure we have, but we're on the journey to find out how committed we are. Already, I found out that I planted the pumpkins a month too late and won't have any this year... whoops. It would be very easy to plant grass and mow it every weekend. We could also go to the store and not worry about getting blisters or having dirt constantly under my fingernails. It's ready to go at the supermarket -- all there for my consumption, waiting to make the trip home with me. It's easy and it's sterile. There's no dirt, no sweat, and hardly any community unless I bump into someone I know, but otherwise it's in and out, neat and tidy. Growing our own food is messy and laborious. AND IT TAKES TIME. I'll be honest, this past month I've hated the mess in A Beautiful Mess. Between all of the dirt in my yard and my house (I can't keep the floors clean worth anything) and getting really sick a couple weeks ago, the mess just doesn't seem right. I want to be clean, in my house, in my health, and in my soul. Isn't that just it though? We're under the illusion that everything should be clean and neat and not much is required of us. We want our food sterile, not to mention our spirituality and our Jesus. When these things get messy and dirty we don't know what to do. We want it spotless as soon as possible. But that is not faith. It's true that Jesus "washes us white as snow" but for some reason we think that's true of life's messes as well. Jesus should also bless us with a good job, a nice house, a faithful husband, and a Nintendo Wii to stay fit. People are increasingly disconnected from the pain of life and the patience and hard work it takes to just sit in the dirt. We don't understand the joy at seeing the tiniest speck of green and that in two months it will be a head of cabbage. Or digging up a carrot covered in soil and grime and know it will taste amazing. Faith takes work -- not works, but the discipline of showing up to Jesus every day. And I don't mean this in the sense of a daily devotional. I mean this in a moral sense of how we treat our neighbors, of how we authentically share our messes with one another, and how we embody Jesus in our lives. We do this by participating in the pretty parts of life as well as the messes. We need to show people the harvest and the dead pumpkins... it's both/and not either/or. We can't sterilize our lives from pain and heartache and sickness. But our culture sure is trying hard. It's easy to grab a Hot Pocket and say "Oh I'm fine." It's hard to put a stew on the stove that will take 3 hours to cook and tell your neighbor it's been a tough week. I fear that the way of the dirty carrot and the stew life are going extinct. The sterile way of food and doing life is one that looks good on the outside, but it hides the realities of life. The messy life might require disciplines of authenticity, but rooted in faith will reap a healthier life. |
Comments
Kristin...this is wonderful. I have so many thoughts on this one. The year after I finished grad school, I was on a serious mission for the 'clean, tidy, sterile' life. I expected 'Jesus should also bless ME with a good job, a nice house, a faithful husband, and a Nintendo Wii to stay fit.' I sought out the clean and convenient and man was I miserable.
And like a slow growing, heavy, stubborn head of cabbage (I'm having a cabbage patch dolls flashback as I write this), I slowly began to realize I needed time to be replanted from the roots and an opportunity to burst through fresh soil and the mess it brought on. Going through the messy, growing period took away my discontentment over the longing of the 'sterile' and instilled in me contentment through the dirt, the labor and the mess.
Before this period in my life I never understood how Paul could say he 'learned to be content.' Now I get it. I no longer live life with expectations like before. I get my hands dirty everyday and I have never been more content doing so.
Your garden sounds wonderful! Blessings upon it! Thanks for another great post!
Ha! I was totally thinking of Cabbage Patch Kids when I was planting them too - how funny. Thanks for sharing about learning to be content. What an important lesson to "get your hands dirty everyday" I love it! Thanks for the comment.
Kristin,
Thanks for this post. It was a refreshing reminder as I quickly dodged the puddles this morning, hoping not to get my heels muddy or the bottom of my slacks wet.
On a similar thread, I have been thinking a great deal about the desert fathers and mothers of the first centuries. And I think there is connection here. For them, faith was not sterile nor ephemeral nor merely an emotion. For them faith was corporal and communal. Living in community, they could not hide their spiritual messes from each other, but rather they understood that a seeking of righteousness included both the spiritual and the mortal; the eternal and the here and now. And they practiced this cohesion in their search for the sanctified soul. When they wanted to discipline themselves into humility, they don't think about it (a "clean" response). Instead, they prostrated themselves. They didn't try to control their lustful thoughts. They took plunges in cold rivers. They didn't try to believe in charity. Instead, they fed the poor from their own meager stores. For them, faith was something you did with your body.
As Dorothy Sayers said, we were made to work. But our spiritual lives have tended to mimic our work lives. In my case, clean, professional, intellectual... there is something about blisters, calluses, weather-worn hands, and aching back muscles that I covet -- the sleep that comes after a day of long labor in the fields of faith (or in a backyard garden).
So true Deal! Missed your comments friend! Although more "connected" we are becoming more isolated in our "communities" and labor looks a lot different when we're in front of a computers 8 hours a day for those of us to whom that is applicable. Our bodies are becoming more and more like space ships to which are foreign territory for us. Great thoughts - keep 'em coming!
While I think it is true that we are becoming ever more disconnected both from food and the nautral processes by which food is produced, I think this disconnection may also have something to do with privilege. Many of the people that work in fields both in California and around do not have many choices to do anything but be connected to food and food production for it is a means of livelihood. For those of us with privilege myself included, it takes a conscious effort to reconnect not only with food, and natural processes of food production but also to be aware of the people that are involved in every step of getting food from the farm to my table. I think the more we can reconnect with food, people and community the more we can see how all of this is interconnected with faith.
Great thought Liz. While I do agree with you that we are disconnected from the people who grow our food, I also have to add that it is a cruel irony that the people who are in the fields can't afford the food they are picking... that is the ultimate crime. The fact that $1.00 goes so much further on perservatives and chemicals and not whole food is in fact a moral issue that needs to be addressed in our communities. But, while our communities remain disconnected, this will not be addressed and we will remain in separate isolated camps.... which is sad. Hopefully these past few blogs have inspired some thoughts on food and where it is coming from and how disconnected we are from our food, bodies and communities. Thanks Liz! Appreciate your passion and thoughts!
I like this article. It's about life - messy, untimely, unsterile, difficult, dirty life. My life as a believer actually started out very sterile until about age 24. Then REAL LIFE started happening to me - and the mess has never gone away, much as I want it to. I am now 55 years old and still living with messy faith. If anyone else out there watches while other members of the church get the answers they want, you will understand why I so love the song by FFH - Lord Move or Move Me! This Christian experience that we choose is not an easy one, and there is not a guarantee of any happy endings on earth - that's why the promise of heaven's home means so much to me.
Thanks for the comment Wisdom Wanter. Real life is so messy and thanks for adding your valuable voice to the conversation!
Kristin,
Wow, I can totally relate to this since moving. My stuff has been all over the house and as we speak is still all over my bedroom. I don't want to take the time to "sit in the dirt" and clean it up. I want someone to take care of it for me. I love the parallels you made between our messes and our faith. It's true. I've found that I'm not very disciplined with a lot of things these days: my time, my exercise routine, my prayer life...it's all been kind of haphazard. And while there are seasons for this, I find that sometimes saying no and then just sitting in it would probably be the best answer in some cases. Putting in the time to make things grow and change. Not just expecting them to. I think it's true, we're in this day and age where we want instant gratification. I got mad last week at the grocery because I couldn't find any blueberries and the only ones Von's had were frozen and $5. So I had to suck it up and buy those. But I actually got kind of peeved that they didn't have them in season and for less than $3! HAHA. So funny. We get placated so easily and then when things don't work out, we get all upset about it. I think back to my grandmothers who were in the Depression and they didn't even have fresh fruit or vegetables very often. Rough. Anyway, my thoughts are wandering. Not sure if you've done it or not, but you should do a blog on that new eyelash medicine where you can ACTUALLY grow your eye lashes longer. Or maybe I read that on here. I forget.
Mills! How I've missed your comments friend! I pray that you will find time to sit in the mess in order to see the beauty in it. I share in your blueberry lament and hope that you are well. Keep 'em coming! :)