I've learned recently that living in intentional community means that we need to peel back the layers, be real with one another and be there for each other. This can’t just happen while you brush your teeth before crashing from an over-worked, over-scheduled day. Caring requires time.

I made this mistake the other day. After a tiring commute, I raced into the house to scarf some leftovers before meeting a friend for coffee. I barely noticed my housemate who was moping around in her room – far from her usual demeanor. Being the allwise-one I gave her a quick solution so I could get on my way. So just how helpful were my trite remarks? I’ll let you guess. What she needed that evening was for me to listen, and to just allow her to be sad for a while.

At times caring means entering into another’s pain - just sitting there in the midst of it. Life rarely fits into quick-fix packages. This can be hard to do – requiring more than you really want to give. I’ve found, however that more often than not, you don’t need to offer advice or say anything profound in those moments. Listening is a powerful action.

On the lighter side of life, it also means sharing in each other's joys. Celebrate your housemate’s recent promotion. Solicit the details of a call from the “crush.” My housemate and I often make it a habit to share our“highs” and “lows” each day so we can put caring into action on a regular basis. 

Yes, the messiness and quirkiness of living in community often interrupts our perfect world, but it’s a good thing. Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! (NIV)” In Life Together Dietrich Bonhoeffer also shares that it’s a gift ofgrace that we are allowed to live in community as “the physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer.”Living in community is a privilege and a gift, and one I want to nurture, grow and not waste.

The benefits of truly living in Christian community far exceed the preservation of hospital corners and correctly folded towels. Bonhoeffersummarizes it well, “The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and his work become the one and only thing that is vital between us.”