Knowing versus experiencing. One of the greatest debates stemming from centuries ago. Head vs. heart - intellect vs. senses - abstract vs. concrete.

Yesterday in class we went back and forth between the two sides adding our own commentary to the legendary banter.

The topic was Greek vs. Hebrew modes of learning and how that translates into leadership. We noticed society's bent towards the head, the intellect, the abstract.  Especially in leadership and education.  Furthermore, we dove into not just leading others, but how this relates to leading ourselves too.

We dialogued about creating understanding, personal initiation, and reaching out in order to build a bridge between the head and the heart.  Additionally, how important these ideas are in interacting with those with different preferences. We also discussed how much time this takes too.

It boiled down to an activity where they were pigeon-holed into a role. Students mentioned how quickly they became irritated so they found a speedy solution to the problem to end the exercise faster. They knew it wasn't their best, but they were limited by their roles and unable to use their strengths, so they gave into to the necessity of completion.

It was a glimpse of what I have seen happen in families, churches, neighborhoods, and the nation, but most of all what I see in myself.

If I am so polarized in my own head, how can I understand others? Stand with others? Appreciate others? If I don't know who I am and my strengths, abilities, and challenges, why do I think I can comment on others around me?

As I projected the day's writing prompts, a welcomed collision occurred:

If I could teach courses on any subject at any level, they would be. . . .

If I had $600,000 to invest in three business ventures, I would invest in. . .

If I were to produce a documentary film, it would be about. . .

If I were an excellent writer, I would write about. . .

If I could switch jobs with three people, I would switch with. . .

If I receive a scholarship to cover all expenses of a course of study, I would study ...

Followed by identifying a time when someone identified their strengths, noticed something in them, or complimented their abilities.

Then I asked them to examine the connections if any.  For some it was eye opening to reveal a deeper reason behind why they switched majors or how their love of writing led to helping others.  Some were "all over the map."

"I want to try everything," one bright-eyed first year said. I responded that she is exactly where she should be.  There are times when we decide to soon a rigid path for the rest of our lives, never trying anything new.  Some noticed how conflicted they were: the success of business vs. the reward of teaching and secretly I grieved that it has come to this in our society.

I once heard if Los Angeles could be summed up in a word it would be "success."  But whose definition?  A few weeks ago, I talked to my sister about this.  Adding on to this discussion now in a city fueled by an abstract concept, and going back in time to the heart vs. head debate -- I hate that we have to choose. After all, in my core I know it's both; I know success is not all that I am.  It's just boils down to how do I live that out?  And it really is a thick, gummy, confusing boiling pot.

It was lovely to see some of my students' faces light up at the connection between their hearts' desires and their minds' intellect.  Sure they have much to learn (don't we all), and certainly challenges will greet them. But they are on the cusp of understanding something I am still searching for meaning about.

Oftentimes there is a proverbial "in group" I fight to get, well, "in" with.  I strategize, contemplate, and maneuver to be seen and valued.  Of course there are always groups I have been part of by class and ethnicity that I didn't realize until I did some serious self-examination.  We are classified by in and out groups since birth.

But what if in taking out the divide in ourselves, we could redefine in and out? Namely, just throw it out. What if the conversation moved towards being radically hospitable?  In some ways it is so much easier to know where the divide is -- to know on which side of the divide you are on.  But I look around and it's not working; in fact, I am making a wager that is it a deeply flawed way of being.  People arrive in the "in group" and that doesn't fix anything.  Success is found, success is lost and still our hearts ache and long for belonging.

To be raised in a society that is consumed with my head, means that I have to lean into my heart because, yes, it is about both, but I have to really examine my heart to learn how the schisms in my head happened.  I have to be hospitable to the voices, to the visitors, to the emotions and learn to filter my turrets of shutting myself down.

Only then does the radical hospitality come full circle to truly realizing there is need everywhere for bridges to be built between in and out, from us and them, to a unified "we" and a whole "you." Because it is a small world after all, and the reality is we need each other and we need ourselves just like we need our heads and our hearts.

(I'll be continuing to write about this in the coming weeks as well)

Reader Note* I would encourage you to try out the reading prompts and see what happens! Try to spend about 20-30 seconds per prompt. Let me know in the comment section below what you discovered. 

Pictures by Sean Thompson and Kristin Ritzau do not use without permission

Writing prompts from Instructor’s Guide for Exploring Leadership, ISBN 978-07879-9493-8. Published by Jossey-Bass, An Imprint of Wiley. Copyright ©2007 John Wiley & Sons, Inc.