In the last decade a new model of community at churches has taken off – the life group.  It disguises itself with other names such as home group, accountability group, small group, cell group, etc.  As churches get bigger and people feel more disconnected, they find their connection through these groups.  I have been part of at least six groups in the last eight years.  There has been great transformation, wonderful relationships built and truly I have called most of these people family.  Heck, my whole ministry was birthed out of my living room.

I believe in the smaller gathering of people to do life together. However, in the past six months, my husband and I have started wondering what we are called to in terms of community.  As we look at our own church, many life groups are set up by interest and not location, so people gather from all ends of Los Angeles County to meet once a week to discuss God and our lives, but the needs of our communities are not being discussed.  Life isn’t happening in neighborhoods anymore.  It’s happening online and at churches in another town.  Churches are even creating satellite campuses where the pastor is beamed in every week.  This is scary when we need help and no one is truly there.  

This became very evident this Fall when I was too sick to move therefore my husband couldn’t leave the house.  Our fridge wasn’t stocked, and we needed someone to go to the store to bring us fresh veggies and chicken for soup. Nate began to scroll through his phone and my phone and it came into focus that our close friends are not close.  We put in calls to people but they were at work or too far away.  One friend was finally able to leave work a little early and swing by on her way home with the groceries.  After the fever was gone, we began to discuss what happened and how it struck an odd cord with both of us that our neighborhood is not our community.  The people we do life with are not in a three -mile radius of our home (albeit one couple). 

We bought our house a year and a half ago and know our neighbors, but are still building those relationships. We’re not going to drop off church fliers on their porch or start passing out tracks.  Instead we have played soccer with their daughters on the front lawn and taken a gardening class with our other neighbor.  This community is different than the one at church.  Every day we wake up and grab our coffee and wave as we see each other off to work and school.  It’s a comforting part of our day when our neighbors lend us a tool or invite us to their birthday party. 

For some this isn’t the case as they are connected to their neighbors already. But with gated communities and longer work hours these days, I am wondering how many of us really know what is happening in our own neighborhoods? It is easier to go serve at the homeless shelter downtown which is 30 minutes away from our front door once a month and not befriend the homeless man digging through our trash for cans every Tuesday.  I don’t have to see the people at the shelter every day, so I can go home feeling good because I did my good deed.  I don’t want to get to know the man because I have enough on my plate and that would be another person to know in my already full life. (I’m confessing about myself right now.)

It is the start of a season where people are ringing bells and donations are asked from us.  We pull out our checkbooks and loose change and get rid of our ratty old sweaters to someone to make room for our new Gap apparel.  Our annual serving dinner or reading a story is nice, but who are we really doing that for?  To make ourselves feel good on Christmas morning surrounded by presents?  Our society thrives on these presents – it’s retail, why else are we in a recession?  We feel like we need stuff to be okay.  The truth is the kingdom of God is not built on stuff or even once a week life groups, it’s built on relationships and showing Jesus to everyone – and that is hard.  Passing out tracks is easy, helping someone dig through trash every Tuesday is hard.  Serving dinner once a year is easy, sitting with a family every day trying to help them get back on their feet after losing their jobs is hard. Jesus doesn’t want our stuff, he wants us to connect with him through people this holiday season.  Some of us won’t be getting a lot of presents, but I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.  It leaves room for more honest gifts or space to examine why we do what we do. 

Do we know who needs groceries in our own neighborhoods anymore or are we just mad at their dog?  Do we know if the single man next door has somewhere to eat on Christmas Eve?  Do we know if the family next door wants help hanging Christmas lights?  Maybe those are the Christmas lists we need to work on writing instead of the “I wants.”  Maybe our life groups need to start in our neighborhoods and local towns instead of leaving to find ourselves and Jesus.  Jesus is all around us, not just where I want him to be. So this holiday season, I am asking for my eyes to be opened and for him to show up in my community… rather, for me to show up to my neighborhood.