Some may question the concept of loving someone you resent. Isn’t that being hypocritical? You have negative feelings, but you are doing or saying something positive. When I hear that question, I am reminded of what the British scholar C. S. Lewis said:
The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you love someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less.
Your Feelings Aren’t Always Right
Love is sometimes the choice to go against your feelings. It’s similar to what I do every morning when I get up. I don’t know about you, but if I only got out of bed on the mornings I felt like getting out of bed, I’d pretty much never get up. Almost every morning, including this morning, I go against my feelings, get up, do something I think to be good, and before the day is over, I feel good about having done it. Love is not a feeling; it is a way of behaving. Feelings follow behavior; therefore, loving feelings follow loving behavior. Loving actions on my part not only bring me positive feelings about myself, but, if spoken in the love language of the other person, they will stimulate positive feelings inside them.
Someone once said, “Following the path of least resistance is what makes people and rivers crooked. People seldom drift to success.” Love takes effort, but the dividends are enormous.
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