Abbie,
Interesting article indeed. Thanks for sharing it. There are so many issues here. It is so easy to look at the statistics and read all the info and feel so overwhelmed. I don't know a lot about the subject and there is a lot to know. I have held babies in my arms with HIV and I've seen a number of people in their final days who can't muster up the strength to swat flies off of their frail bodies.

Again, there is so much I don't know about this disease and about all of the unfortunate politics surrounding it. I do however believe that the issue of the sick and of the poor is an issue the church has been charged to work with. I believe that the church should be responding to the sick and the dying. Education is huge. It's so easy to feel despair when reading articles such as this. It's too much for us to wrap our heads around.

I want to share 2 examples of people who are working hard to fight this pandemic and who are succeeding because it is so important for people to get behind people and organizations who are making a difference person by person.

1. Kathi Winter. Kathi is an acquaintance of mine. She is from Orange County and has HIV. She travels the world sharing her story while educating men and women about the disease. She works with an organization called He Intends Victory (HIV). A video of her with a bit about what's she doing can be seen here. http://www.heintendsvictory.com/video/kathi-winters-personal-crusade

2. A couple from the US moved to Malawi many years ago and started an abstinence program called Why Wait. The Days have been extremely successful in educating the youth of southern Malawi. Good work is being done there and is worthy of knowing about. Their site is here: http://www.whywaitafrica.com/

I believe the church has a responsibility and an opportunity here to share the love of Christ and bring holistic healing to a dying world.

Hi Abbie! Long time no blog!

I was at a semi-annual mens' retreat in March. They’ve been having the same “Sex in Sobriety” workshop twice a year for 27 years now. It starts with a short talk by the man who’s been running it all this time. He’s an honorable man who works hard at his marital relationship. He understands that love is not a feeling; it’s very much a verb.

Then, all 150 of us get into ten big circles and open up about whatever is bothering us about sex, or something useful we’ve learned about intimacy in our relationships, or even our whole sexual histories. There isn’t a lot of feedback going on, or any therapy, other than the therapeutic value of one man listening to another, which itself is pretty powerful stuff. The stories, for the most part, are tragic.

A man next to me, head in his hands, said that he’d been married twice, paid for five abortions, none of which were for either spouse. A young black man across from me said he tested positive for HIV.

“Are you still having sex?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you wear a condom?”
“Sometimes.”
“Are you telling your partners?”
“Yeah, when I wear a condom I do.”

Around the circle it goes, and if you substituted the word “sex” for whiskey or crack, the conversation wouldn’t skip a beat. Sex without intimacy, commitment, or integrity is just another drug. It’s not even a very good drug, according to the average addict’s cost / benefit analysis. It’s merely another expedient way to change the way I feel.

What I have observed about sex and about men and women is this:

Men are ready for sex twenty five hours a day. Women are ready for a relationship now.

Men always use the promise of a relationship to get to “it”. Women always use “it” to get to a relationship. The confluence of these desires results in AIDS and other STD’s, three million unwanted pregnancies, roughly half of which are aborted, a coarsening of our culture, and a further separation from each other and from God.

I’m not sure what should about all this, except that when I come home each night, I give my wife a hug and hold her hand, and I try to remember to ask her how her day has been before I say the first word about mine. That’s not easy for a selfish, self centered guy like me, but when I do, I am blessed with intimacy, grace, gratitude, and love. That’s powerful stuff.

Tim H.