We all have our stories of living with the obnoxious, quirky orclingy housemate. One especially memorable experience left me feelinglike I was living on an episode of Animal Planet when their cat assumedthe disguise of a jungle tiger and decided to mark his territorythroughout the house. Yet another classic moment unfolded, with adifferent housemate, when I came home to find the milk in the pantry,the tortilla chips in the fridge and the leftovers in the Tupperwaredrawer (her scurried attempts at “cleaning up”).

In Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller devotes an entire chapter tothis subject. It’s called, “Community: Living with Freaks.” The titlealone made me laugh out loud. Yet as the text played out, he hit anerve. While living in community, my mindset has often attached itselfto what Miller admits to: “Life was a story about me because I was inevery scene.” In the “me-focused” world in which all of us dwell attimes, how do we successfully live in intentional community?

I’ve come to realize that living in community is messy. To do it wellmeans that the morning-breath, cranky me I hide from co-workers or afirst date needs to rear its head more often than not. Likewise, I needto allow my housemate to do the same, and not get freaked out by heridiosyncrasies. It demands an authenticity that allows us to know allsides of each other. And, I’m not the only member of this cast.Community involves caring for another person in a place of mutualsubmission while living out life alongside each other. But how do weget there?

(This article first appeared in Christian Single Magazine, August 2007)