It's amazing to me how stressful it is buying presents for people, especially at Christmas.  Some people might say it's not stressful (some might actually say they enjoy it), but it's still a pressure.  For some reason we feel like it's a "need" to buy someone a gift at Christmas, their birthday, wedding anniversary, Valentines day...

It's actually to the point where our feelings get hurt if someone doesn't buy us something for these occasions.  Is that not weird?  Is it not weird for our culture to be at a point where we feel loved and cared for as long as someone buys us something?  It's almost as if our joy of receiving the gift is based on the fact that we feel loved and cared for.  I'm not a psychologist, but again, think about that...is that not at least a little weird? 

Now, I know, some might say that they don't base the love another person has for them on whether or not they get a gift.  But, what if they don't get you a gift?  Do you feel loved and cared for?  As an honest American you'd have to admit your feelings would at least be hurt a little - and especially so if you bought them one.  And this is where the pressure comes in.  

And what about those times when you get a gift from someone, but didn't buy them anything?  Do you not feel the need to get them one?  Or how about those times when you send out your Christmas cards, then get one from someone you didn't send one to?  Do you not put one in the mail the next day?  And why do we do this?  Because it's nice, loving and just the way things work.

I know it's cool to get a present from someone, it's always nice, it is fun to both give and receive gifts.  That to say, I certainly don't think buying gifts for other people is a bad thing.  I actually think it could be a way we show love and care for someone.  I do surprise my girls and even my wife sometimes by bringing home a little something.  But it seems like our culture is way out of whack on this, making it a need, and to the point where we can actually hurt someone's feelings if we don't buy them something.

I happen to think this drastically affects our idea of what Christmas is about.  It's really hard to "feel" the love God showed on this day we celebrate in the midst of the awkward hectic pressures around present giving. 

My wife and I don't buy each other any presents - ever.  On our birthday's or Valentines day we might get a card, but no presents.  We don't have any expectations for buying anything, in fact our expectation is that we don't.  We do however try to do something for our anniversary every year.  But we still don't buy presents.  We just make sure we can spend time together, whether it's having a nice dinner together or  a weekend away.  

We don't even buy presents for our girls.  I know, horrible, huh?  But the fact is for Christmas they get so many presents from other people it's crazy anyway.  And on their birthday it's the same.  For their birthday we do have a party, making sure they can invite their friends.  We do want to celebrate their birth, we just don't feel the need to buy them something in order to celebrate.

But the bottom line for me is this: if my wife or my kids feel unloved and not cared for because I don't buy them something, there's something drastically wrong with our relationship and the way I show my love toward them.  And, that would be weird.