Question Asked

living in past

i`m sorry about my grammer, it`s not my native language...
i was saved when i was 15/16 years old. that was a great time. the best time actualy... when i was 17 i started to smoke and drink.. i turned my back to God like 50% . i still belived, but i wasn`t living like christian..when i was about 19/20 i started datind this guy who was like reaaaly into "searching himself" , he belived in all religions, but not in Jesus. I think i tried ti tell him at first, but than he stuffed my head with things like this- Jesus aren`t Gods Son, hes was just a realy SMART GUY and so on.. he belived in power of thoughts . he wanted to be PERFECT he whanted to be SAINT. but obviously he couldn`t, couse it`s imposible without Jesus. so he stuffed my head with all thouse things and i belived. i know....i never really liked that guy, i never loved him. at first i wanted him to be my friend, but somehow made me date him. so after few months be broke up of course. his life was broken, couse i was his god. he built his life around me. i couldnt be his god! i couldnt stand it. so he started to stalk me, hurt me, threaten me, my friends, falimy. very very agresivly. and in meantime asked me forgivness, asked me back. of course i couldnt forgive, and OF COURSE i didnt wanted him back. after fwe moths i experianced Anxiety & Panic Disorders... it was HELL. so 2 months ago i asked Jesus to come into my life again. i was really worry he wouldnt take me back... but he did. and i am so happy about that.. but still i have problems.. i cant stop thinking bad thoughts about this guy.. i think its bad.. i cants get rid of him in my head.. and its relly depressing. i have asked this guy forgivness, couse, of course my fault there was too.. and yeah, he now declears that he belives in jesus, but his life doesnt prove it. he still tries to set my thought off god and set them to him. like he is god. its A LOT easier now, vouse i have God , i have Jesus, and i feel Holy Spirit in me everyday. but those thoughts.. killing me. how do you think do i have obligations to him, with him? do i have to explane my self to him? if i feel hes talking things that isnt from god, do i have to ignore him? iam not so stable to protect my self. 2 months ago he stull after a year thinks we will be together, he still is obssest with me. aand he is kind of made me belive that no one will love me like him or smth like that. tha he is the ONE. but i have no romantic feelings against him.that God sent him to me. i domt think god did.. did he? i want to meet normal guy and live happy.. i want family.. who lives like christians.

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Living in the past and nowadays is not that much different. - Weathershield Reviews