Carrie Ngangnang
35 years old
Orange County, CA

Resting in His Arms

Of all of the things that come with being with a mom – the mommy brain, sleepless nights, cuddles and snuggles, drool, poop and oh so much more – one of my absolute favorites is when my 13 month old Justice, crawls up into my lap, tucks his arms in against his one-pack-Buddha-belly and falls asleep resting on me.

Justice has a sleepy song he sings to himself just before he fads into slumber. Well, calling it a song is a bit of stretch; he sounds more like a creaking door, in need of a serious douse of WD-40. He creaks and creaks until at last he relaxes and settles in for a good nap on his momma.

And I love it! I often wonder what he’s thinking as he sings his creaky song and zero’s in on sleep.

If you’ve been in Christian circles long enough, you may be familiar with those who admit guilt over falling asleep while praying, especially at night. Maybe you’ve experienced this. This is bad theology.

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Tests, Unemployment, Babies and Faithfulness

There are students who test really well regardless of the subject being tested on. I have never been one of those students. I struggled throughout school because of tests. I often joke that if I were given a multiple choice test on my own family, I’d likely fail that too. School tests are quite a bit different than the tests we may face throughout our lives. You may have faced a test of illness such as cancer. Maybe you’re still facing the test of loss of investments post the recession of ’07 and ’08.

With any test, it’s vital to be well prepared if there’s any hope of passing. But how can we prepare for some of life’s big tests placed before us?

I recently stumbled upon the story of Job found in the Old Testament. I was struck by a particular part of the story that happens pretty early on.

My Near Death Experiment Book Review

About a week ago I heard the story of a successful businessman who had suffered a stroke. He came close to death and yet, his life was spared, he made a relatively good recovery and was able to return to his life without complication. Except that life of his had changed dramatically in the process of coming so close to death. Instead of returning to work and continuing to go about his affluent lifestyle, the man compulsively began to give his wealth away. When asked about it, he said he felt like he had no choice but to give what he had to others in need. Everyday the man would buy lunch or fill up cars with gas for complete strangers. Today the man cannot stop giving away his life's earnings. He had a near death experience and has never been the same.

"What if you could have the life-changing effect of a near death experience without the pain, the hospitals, the drama and the potential loss? What if you could live a more meaningful life now - while it's up to you - and be happier, more fulfilled, more alive..? What if..?"

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What is God's Plan for Justice?

When Our Hearts Align with God's

At 6,000 feet high, seated in a single engine Cessna next to my husband at the controls, my mind ran a marathon of thoughts about what it means to be concerned with what concerns the ones I love. As we flew along the beautiful coast line of California, making our way from the sandy beaches of Orange County to the coastal cliffs, rolling hills and mountains of Big Sur, I realized that I would have never agreed to sit in a teeny-tiny airplane for those 3 hours if it wasn’t my husband doing the flying.

Before I met my husband, I couldn’t tell you the difference between planes other than some are big and some are small; some are painted cool colors and designs and some not so much.

The Stories We Tell

Everyone has a story to tell. The experiences we go through lay down pavement in our rearview mirror of life, leaving a path of where we’ve been behind us. Each step taken reveals a corner turned, a decision made, a chapters ending or one beginning. We are all on the move towards something, whether our steps are that of a baby or a marathoners sprint. But do we really know where we’re headed? I often feel as if I’ve journeying through my life in the dark.

Growing up as a church kid, attending Sunday school and memorizing Bible verses to be quoted in the front of the congregation (not awkward at all by the way), I have Jeremiah 29:11 practically branded onto my brain.

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Malawi, Hippo's and What Ought to Be

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:11-12

Let’s be honest. There are parts of the Bible that are frustrating. Like where Paul talks about how he’s “learned to be content.” I mark up every book I own and the Bible is no exception. I took the liberty to jot down my own thoughts in the margin next to Paul’s words. I wrote, “How do I do that?” Profound I know!

How do you learn to be content? It sounds a lot harder than riding a bike. In fact, if your life looked anything like mine did at the time I wrote my own commentary on the passage, you’d down right think to learn to be content is well, impossible.

I scribbled that question in the margin of my NIV sometime during 2007. That year was a blur so don’t ask me to remember exactly when it was during 2007. What I do remember of that year is wiping toilets and cleaning up putrid smelling vomit at the Tragic Kingdom, which you may know as the Magic Kingdom. I was a seminary graduate with a newly achieved Masters of World Missions and Evangelism degree and I worked as a self-proclaimed “Mistress of Custodial Arts.” It was better than restroom cleaner, janitor, custodian and all things to do with trash and vomit. In less than a year I went from Master to Mistress.

Needless to say, I was a bitter beast during that time and I was anything but content.

Wouldn’t you know Jesus went to work with me every day as I cleaned toilets, sprayed enough air freshener to put a hole the size of Texas in the o-zone layer and go down on bended knee to clean up the aftermath of someone who ate too much junk food before hitting the rides. I didn’t recognize him at first, not because he looked any different than he does any other day but because I wasn’t looking for him. I was so consumed with Me, I didn’t see Him.

Until a precious, tiny woman with a broken heart invaded mine. Less than 5’ tall, Sam was also a “Mistress of Custodial Arts.” Her husband was abusive, her kids bad behavior a simple and understandable reflection of their chaotic home life; she felt like her world was crumbling right before her eyes. In a custodial closet filled with toilet paper and air fresheners, Sam poured her heart out to me. Her desperation for hope rang loudly through her every word. She was tired, lost and hopeless.

Something fantastic happened. I stopped dwelling on my own toilet scrubbing state and I saw Jesus. Not physically, wearing the stereotypical long white robe with a baby blue sash and long flowing hair. No, I didn’t see him, but I knew he was there and I knew, in that moment, that Jesus had some things to say to sweet Sam. I knew he had put me in that depressing restroom stock closet to share with Sam what Jesus thought of her. So I sighed, put my hand on Sam’s tiny shoulder and began to talk to Jesus. She cried, I cried, and together we asked him for wisdom and hope and peace to swell over her and her family.

Later that day I decided to try listening to Jesus, who I was now sure was with me as sure I was I cleaned toilets for a living. Up to this point, I’d been doing a lot of talking at him, asking him questions like, “Why did you take me 3,000 miles from home to go to seminary and learn about evangelism only to bring me back home and the only job you provide is cleaning toilets at an amusement park?”

Jesus, being the man of mystery that he is, didn’t exactly speak as quickly as I wanted him to during that season, but slowly, I noticed a much needed change taking place in my heart and in my attitude. I was humbled that even in a season when I was bitter and frustrated with God because I blamed him for not fulfilling my expectations for my life, he still extended such love and grace towards me in that he’d perfectly orchestrated Sam and me to be in the custodial closet at just the moment we both needed to meet with Jesus. I slowly, very slowly, began to realize that what I do for work, regardless of my title, regardless of where I live or any other circumstance around me, has absolutely nothing to do with his fierce love and purpose for me. He can and will use all of it for his good work and purpose.

Sam wasn’t the only person I had a Jesus conversation with after that day. In fact, there were many more that heard and sought out Jesus. It saddens me to think I may have missed opportunities to share his love with others because I was fixated on my own problems.

Paul’s statement doesn’t seem all that difficult to understand now. I too learned to be content when I set my pursuit in life on Jesus; not on myself and certainly not on my circumstances.

Regardless of where I work and where I live, what my Creator requires of me is simple. He asks me to love him before all else in this life and to consider and love those around me. Contentment ensues here on out and it’s beautiful. I am a Master of Evangelism. All those who follow Jesus are. By our love others will know his great love. I didn’t expect to be an evangelist in a restroom, but in that moment, it didn’t matter where we were. All that mattered was Jesus was there and he intimately and radically showered Sam and me with his unfailing love.

So whether you’re a Mistress or a Master I encourage you today to look not unto your own works, hopes and dreams for yourself, but into the One who created you with hopes and dreams. For in Him and Him alone you will find contentment. Wipe toilets or build skyscrapers. Whatever you do, do in love for Him and love others.

Do you also find Paul’s statement to be frustrating? Are you feeling discontent? Spend some time in stillness and quiet and listen for Jesus. He will meet with you where you are when you’re ready.

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Tags | Global

Learning to Work with Girls at Risk

When Frederick Douglass said slavery "has been called by a great many names and it will call itself by yet another, and all of us had better wait and see what new form this old monster will assume,” he knew what he was talking about.

Modern-day slavery looks different than it did during the nineteenth century when Douglass spoke those words. Today, slavery is not bound by borders, race, religion, economic status or social class. At its core, slavery is the exploitation of the most vulnerable. 

Orange County, CA has one of the highest populations per capita of homelessness in the U.S., with only 3,400 temporary shelter beds available. An individual needs to work 141 hours per week at minimum wage in order to afford average rent for a 1 bedroom apartment. It should come as no surprise then that hundreds of homeless families find themselves residing in motels. This working homeless population is a socially neglected, ignored and an extremely vulnerable population. 
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Carrie Ngangnang has not joined any groups yet.
General
I drink coffee, read books, and travel. My car, Black Jack, is my sanctuary. I live for adventure. Speaking of adventure, I am recently married. If I could call Yogurtland home I would. We should save the Earth because it's the only planet with chocolate.
Activities
Board of Directors member with My Refuge House, a safe home for girls rescued from sexual exploitation.
Interests
I'm eager to see the world know Christ. I am passionate about equipping cross-cultural servants with encouragement and resources as well as teaching and communicating the bible.
Books
Yep. I love them!
Education
B.A. Psychology, Vanguard University, CA M.A. World Missions and Evangelism, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, MA
Work
Currently work for a Pharmaceutical Company in Regulatory Affairs and I'm still trying to figure out what that means.