One worry about how our culture approaches marriage that is about to get a lot more traction is the fact that the marriage age is increasing.*  Men, for instance, now delay (on average) marriage until age 28, a significant jump from where it was in the 50s and 60s.

The folks at Boundless, for instance, have been making the case for marrying young for some time.  And they are, after all, the standard bearers on issues of dating and relationships.  And now Mark Regnerus, one of America's best sociologists of religion, is making the case.  Or you can read Ben Domenech's excellent analysis on marriage trends here (and my response). They're all worth reading.

The central question is whether the trend reveals a growing distaste for marriage, or whether it in fact indicates the seriousness with which young people approach the "most important decision of their lives" (a phrase parents love to throw about).  There's some reason to deny both options:  economics, on the one hand, drive people to marry later who might otherwise marry in college, yet on the other hand, young people hardly wait to get married to have intimate relationships with the opposite sex.

In fact, the question seems to be a non-starter:  as I've argued here in the past (and as Regnerus points out) most young people's notion of marriage is not at all the same as it was for previous generations.  And so the case for marrying young is reduced to this:  Jesus wants you to be married, and you have to be virtuous.  As Regnerus closes his excellent essay, "If a young couple displays maturity, faith, fidelity, a commitment tounderstanding marriage as a covenant, and a sense of realism aboutmarriage, then it's our duty—indeed, our pleasure—to help them expeditethe part of marriage that involves public recognition and celebrationof what God is already knitting together. We ought to "rejoice anddelight" in them, and praise their love (Song of Sol. 1:4)."

Fair enough.  But it's also insufficient.  Often, those are the virtues that people acquire through marriage, which itself teaches us the proper contours of maturity and fidelity.  The result is always in doubt, after all, at the beginning of the marriage, which is perhaps why it remains such an attractive option.  Many marriage, even those of otherwise virtuous people, reaches a point where they must lean on the faithfulness, the commitment, the maturity and support of the community in which the marriage exists.  Establishing marriage as an institution, even within our churches, is a necessary requirement for remaining married well.

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* Okay, so this isn't a part of my never ending project, but I am going to return to that soon.  My life has changed considerably the last four months (as I outline here), which has kept me away from writing.  The short story is that I'm going to pursue writing as a vocation, so this space should get a lot more attention this fall.