This is the third reflection in this blog series on the spirituality of students at Christian colleges. Crises and trials are common. Over half the sample reported experiencing a crisis in the past year. When asked to describe their crises in an open-ended format, the most frequently reported crises included loss of relationship, relationship stresses, and health concerns. We also asked students to describe their most difficult spiritual struggles, and the top three they reported were relational conflict, busyness,and lust/sex/pornography.

These open-ended responses all suggest that emerging adulthood is a time of relational difficulties and this affects every aspect of students’ spirituality. Relational loss, stress, and conflict is the norm for college students, which stems from their identity exploration and instability that is an intrinsic part of this stage of life.

The challenge for this stage is to navigate relationships with God and others in the process of solidifying one’s identity and learning how to love.  The students I’ve interviewed who seem to be mature for their stage are the ones who are transitioning from more superficial relationships at the beginning of college to a handful of deeper relationships toward the end of college.  Having many relationships can still be good, but not when it’s at the expense of truly being known by others.  We learn about ourselves in close relationships, and peer relationships significantly shape students’ identity during this stage.  Core patterns of relating will start to emerge during this stage and it’s important to explore these during this phase. For those of us mentoring students who are in this stage, we need to provide the grace and emotional/spiritual space for our students to explore their identity, and model for them how we are increasingly finding our identity in Christ.

 Stay tuned for the last two reflections from this national study...