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Listening To The Writer

I haven’t written in a while.  In fact, a good friend and regular reader, pointed out that it has been nearly a month since my last post.  I must admit, until I received her email, I didn’t realize that much time had slipped by.  If I was too busy to post before her email, there was no hope of me posting when her email came through - it arrived in the midst of one of my busiest weeks in a while.  I’ve had long hours at work, a one-day weekend  and events stretching me past the 10:00 pm mark every night.  


As my week progressed, my “to-do” list for the upcoming weekend grew.  When your life is always “go, go, go”, even looking forward to knocking out the lesser priorities on a day off or two takes on an appealing aura of relaxation.  I fell asleep last night with grand plans of sleeping in (I was exhausted after all!) and then running errands.  God, it seems, had other plans for me, and it started with a headache.


This wasn’t the “end of the day and I’m exhausted” kind of headache (I already had one of those earlier this week).  This wasn’t even the “I’m so tired and sleeping so hard that I’m waking up with a headache” kind of a headache.  This was the “I’m so tired, I’m DREAMING that I have a headache only to wake up early and realize that I actually do have a pounding headache” kind of headache.  


In other words, it was a crummy way to wake up this morning.  


Eventually, the headache faded.  But it’s intensity captured my attention.  As I showered, and started my mental check list for the day.  First on the list - write a blog post.  Second, run errands.  I realized then I needed to pull the throttle back.  I decided to reshape my day, choosing to spend time in nature with God.  The one thing that I deliberately kept on my to do list, however, was to write this post.  But, as I sat down at my computer, the true scope of how busy I had been hit me -  I had nothing to write about.  Usually I write about something that strikes me, or catches my attention, or moves my heart in some way.  But I’ve been moving at such a break neck speed, nothing had grabbed my attention other than my own busyness.   


When I first started going through my divorce, it wasn’t uncommon for me to grab my Bible, grab my journal, and just escape somewhere.  The beach, the park, anyplace where I could step back and clear my head.  The chats I’d have with God in those moments kept me sane and focused on the next step I needed to take.  It had been far too long since I had done that.  After hoping in my car, I drove to a park tucked in our Orange County foothills.  There, sitting amongst the rustling trees, I observed.  The beauty of a crisp fall down, the vibrant (for Southern California) fall colors around me, the breeze meandering through the air.  I read 2 Timothy and Titus, listening for God’s word.  Then I journaled the thoughts in my head, directing them to my Creator.  I wandered around the park, with Don Miller’s new book, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” in hand.  In general, I just s - l - o - w - e - d down.


Don actually writes in his book about how to shape our own “story”.  And just like every story written, our story has a creator.  A Writer.  Our job is to listen carefully to the Writer.  Don, a writer himself, says it best:


You can call it God or conscience, or you can dismiss it as the intuitive knowing we all have as human beings, as living storytellers; but there is a knowing I feel that guides me toward better stories, toward being a better character.  I believe there is a writer outside ourselves, plotting a better story for us, interacting with us, even, and whispering a better story into our consciousness.  


Don goes on to say that we have to be able to listen to God, our Writer, in order to live out those stories.  Otherwise, we’ll steer ourselves towards selfishness, self reliance, or self-destruction.  Or, perhaps, some combination of the three.   The busyness in my life sends me down a path of self reliance - sure I’m busy doing great things, but if I’m disconnected from God in the process, isn’t it just a waste?  


The clarity of Don’s thoughts, combined with the peacefulness of God’s nature, and the time I spent in the Word simply seeking Him, crashed upon my soul.  God’s plan for me today was this:  to wake up to His story, to deliberately seek it out, and pause enough in my life to listen to His voice.  So, from now on, once a month - I will clear my calendar, disconnect from technology, seek out nature, and just sit with the Author of my story.


Besides, pausing often enough to listen to my Writer sure beats dream-induced headaches any day of the week!


You write so beautifully. I hope you wouldn't stop writing because you inspire others. - Carmack Moving and Storage

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Grace makes beauty out of ugly things. I'm no relationship expert, but when my marriage fell apart, God's grace was extended through His community. This is the place to explore that community together.