I’ve wanted to be a director since I was 5. To confirm this statement please go up to my parent’s attic and take out my first grade homework assignment entitled “What I Want to Be When I Grow Up” with a very Steven Speilbergish looking picture of me brilliantly sketched in Crayola washable marker.

Since then I’ve directed projects big and small (mostly small) and have even managed to grow a beard (something the great directors always have).  But the biggest project I’ve endeavored to undertake is my own life. 

I’ve grown to realize, however, that my biggest undertaking is also my biggest failure.

The actors won’t do what I tell them to.

I’m either too early or too late to shoot whatever scene is supposedly going on without me.

And half the time I’m not sure if I’ve been handed a comedy, tragedy, or something in between.

It’s in my DNA…this fight to control, this drive to orchestrate…and it never quite seems to turn out the way I’ve imagined in my head. It’s just such a foreign idea to me.
Who likes the idea of surrender? Who gets excited about the word “dependence?”

But I’m reminded that Christ came with one purpose…to turn everything completely upside down!  In this phenomenal mystery we call the gospel, when we release control…
Surrender ushers in victory.
Dependence breathes freedom.
Death raises up life.

So my life has become a great experiment…to release control.

To let go.

To allow the Creator to pry open my wrenched and coiled hand, petrified and locked into its rigid position To explore the most dangerous kind of freedom. One that requires bravery and nonsensical trust. 

Any stories out there of people who have done this and have had success? Anybody struggling to release control too? What are your stories?