The quest for the knowledge of good and evil (the original curse and the one from which so many others are born) rubs up against the virtue of having an open mind and this is the battle that often renders me unproductive.  William Young, in his novel The Shack, frames these often opposing forces as such: expectation versus expectancy. 

Here’s an example: we recently moved into a new home.  The garage, up until last weekend, was an absolute disaster.  Standard stuff really – boxes, gear, bags, equipment and so on  – general mayhem.  For some reason I have a goal to park cars in garages.  So the gauntlet was laid down.  And here’s what my “attack” looked like.  I got out there in clothes I predicted would get dirty and torn and shoes that would be sturdy yet comfortable for the many trips up a ladder.  Then I got right to it!  I started staring.  Just looking at it all.  Not doing much.  Just looking.  But from all sorts of angles mind you.  Just to be sure.  Sure of what I’m not sure but sure enough I was doing it.  Staring.  Unproductively. 

Or was I?  I told myself, “There has to be a plan here, some way this is all supposed to be put together.” The only way to figure that out was to stare, right?  Then there’s the “just go with it, man” part of me.  An equally strong part of me.  A part that said, “Just start moving a few things around and it’ll all come together.  But please do something because Ali is going to keep on coming in here and you’re looking kind of dumb just standing around.”  Somehow, the best of both worlds eventually collide in an exquisite moment of intense productivity.  But it takes a while.  (By the way, the inaugural drive out of my garage the next morning brought me far too much satisfaction.)

Such is the case with sorting out my opinions.  It’s the left brain vs. the right.  Cognitive vs. Emotional.  Pragmatic vs. Whimsical.  So if I come across as one who seems like he’s a bit mixed up at times, now you know why.  You know, perhaps a better description for the dynamic is a dance than a war.  And much like getting a chance to watch my folks dance - it's obvious they've had practice because it all looks good to me and they definitely seem to know where they're going with each other.

 … soon back to the regularly scheduled programming